I have never been good at being thankful for what I have because I am so focused on my goals for the future that I often do not take a minute to appreciate what I have or all I have accomplished to this point. The exception… Thanksgiving. Maybe it is the forced relaxation after the feast is over and I settle in on the couch with my 2nd helping of pie… Because lets face it, I just do not have space for all the desserts in one sitting. Maybe it is just the holiday in general that makes me reflect. One thing is sure, I will look at my life and be thankful of what I have on this one day out of the year.
I can’t even tell you how many gratitude journals I have purchased in all different forms through the years to help me be more in the moment and appreciate what I have. Not that I have actually used any of them… But the intention is there. I want to be that person. I want to journal about my day. I want to reflect and be thankful for what I have. I want to be all zen and in the moment thankful for the life I have… But my mind will not let me.
My mind goes 100 MPH zipping through goals and to do lists and thinking about what is next to the point that I have a hard time being in the now. Breathe in… Did I put bread on my grocery list? I need to texture that hole I patched in the wall… Where is the paint? Oh that’s right… Breathe out. I am in the moment. I should really book an oil change…
Yeah, my husband says my mind is like a crowded bar on a Friday night with a band playing. He isn’t far off. There is a lot going on in there to the point that I am surprised that I get anything done. No matter how many meditation or mindfulness classes I take I can’t ever seem to achieve that clear mind I have heard so much about. The closest I can get is to picture I am at a beach and I’m focusing on the waves rolling in. Wave rolls in, Wave rolls out. Breathe in, Breathe out to the sound of the ocean in my mind. Even focusing on that is a struggle.
It isn’t that I’m NOT thankful for what I have… I am. I have fought hard to get where I am in life. I have a wonderful husband (who may annoy the hell out of me at times) but I adore him even when he is annoying. I have 2 boys that come with their own challenges…Especially my pre-teen. Uggg…Teenagers. But I love them dearly, even if one of them may be possessed until he finds his true self and the other one is a bottomless pit who is ALWAYS hungry but still skinny despite eating probably 10,000 calories a day. He may be training for an eating competition. I have a roof over my head and a job that pays the bills. I can still get around on my own two feet and still have my vision (with my contacts on) and I can still mostly hear (despite all those concerts in the 1980’s). Overall, I am doing pretty good. But we always want more.
Why is that? I am always working on something. Why settle when I can upgrade with a little more effort? Could I just stay local and enjoy a Stay-cation in El-Backyardo? Absolutely. But why when there is a whole world out there to see full of unique foods and experiences? Why settle when I can work a little harder for an upgrade? I have put in a lot of work to get in shape over the last year why not just settle in and be happy with my new size 16 self? Well, With a little more work I can be a size 14 or 12 or even a 10 (Honestly, I don’t think I have fit a 10 since I was 10). I can weigh that much less and be in much better shape not only look better but feel better as well.
I have learned that I can still be thankful for what I have and what I have accomplished through the years AND still want more. Wanting more does not negate what you already have. You can be thankful that you have a roof over your head while still dreaming that it was by the beach instead of in the suburbs. You can be thankful that you are able to walk the 5K Turkey Trot while wishing you could run it. You can be thankful that you have food you have while wishing you didn’t eat so much.
From my home to yours… I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!
Working Mom - Travel Dreams 