getting it together – Working Mom

Welcome 2024!

I am actually fairly happy to see 2023 behind me. It was a hard year, granted I have had worse. 2023 was tough because of how much overtime I worked. I felt as if it stole my life away. I was working 10-12 hours a day Monday-Friday and another 8-10 on Saturday… I did this for 5 months straight. I was completely exhausted at the end in mid-October and didn’t start to feel human again until around Thanksgiving.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom. We did fix up some things around the house and booked a nice trip to the UK for our anniversary in 2024 with the overtime. Pretty much every time I got paid I’d look at how much I made in OT and book another part of the trip so everything is paid in full except food, drink and our train tickets that I can only book 2 months out. It was nice to have something to look forward to while working so much.

With all that extra work some things slipped. I am back on track working on my mental and physical health. I even joined a stress management program. I feel like I lost out on a lot of family time so I have also booked some fun stuff to do with the kids in 2024 as well as an epic solo trip for my 50th birthday in the fall.

I am choosing to be positive as I enter 2024. I have a lot to look forward to as I spend more time with friends and family but I am especially excited about the travel. From the short overnight and day trips with the kids, to taking my husband to the UK for our anniversary (a trip he is very excited about and it will be the farthest he has ever been from home) to my epic birthday trip to see Nepal and Tibet where I will trek to Everest base camp, enjoy a helicopter ride to Annapurna base camp and end with a safari in the Chitwan National Park in Nepal.

Yes, 2024 will be an exciting year.

Work-Life Balance

My co worker has been off work since May and will be off until October-ish. I have noticed a direct correlation between my weight, energy level and number of hours worked. I have noticed the higher my workload the lower my energy level is for anything outside work. The more number of hours a week I work, the higher my weight goes. I honestly do not know how to combat that.

I’ll use this week as an example… I am working six 10+ hour days. I have about an hour commute each way. I leave for work between 6-6:15 AM and get home from work between 6-7 PM. I am exhausted by the time I get home and could seriously fall asleep on the couch if the kids would not jump on me. But a mother’s work is never done. I start the bedtime routine when I get home. The kids go to bed at 8 and I head upstairs to get ready for bed myself between 9-10 PM and get up by 5 AM to start it all over the next day.

I completely lack balance. I miss my 7:30-4PM shift only 5 days a week. I miss having the energy to exercise in the mornings before work and still have time and energy to do something after work. A two day weekend seems like such a luxury and distant memory now.

My long time readers know that I do not really do New Years Resolutions but instead make changes and set goals around my birthday. Smaller goals for most birthdays that I can accomplish by my next birthday and larger 5+ year goals on the birthdays that end in a 5 or a 0. With my birthday approaching roughly the same time my coworker should be returning to work I feel it is the perfect time for a reset of my life…again.

Now this happens off and on where things get so out of whack that I need to make radical changes to get back on track. It isn’t as if I just decide one day to chuck all my goals and live a life that does not bring me peace. It happens slowly. I started getting off track with the pandemic with the lack of gym access and my beloved Yoga studio by the waterfront closing. The staffing shortages and overtime just made things worse. My stress levels and weight were rising and my general health was just not there. Then I was hit with a big blow to my health with my reaction to my Covid shot. I am so happy to have survived the reaction but years later I am still dealing with the complications from it. Complications that no one can tell me what to expect in the future. No idea if they will be lifelong problems or if they will go away.

So I have 2 months to soul search, evaluate all aspects of my life and figure out what changes I want to make. I will then come up with a plan and set short term goals. I already know a couple changes I am going to make. I have a couple others that I am on the fence about changing or not because they have both positive and negative points. Maybe they just need a bit of a tweak. I have other things that I am happy with, but could be better. I also have a long list of things I want to do and places I want to go.

I need a plan.

Quiet quitting / Quiet hiring

With all the burnout from working short staffed for years I have seen some of my co-workers slowly start to “slack off” in response to the constant addition of more responsibilities because there simply is not enough people to do the work. I thought this was just a unique thing for healthcare since we lost so much staff during the pandemic and people are reluctant to work in healthcare now that it has passed. I know pretty much everywhere is hiring, many with signing bonuses and other things to sweeten the pot and attract workers but this is not unique to healthcare. It appears to be happening in ALL industries.

How did this happen? Where did all the workers go? How are people supporting themselves and their families without jobs? Why are people not applying for the open jobs?

I understood at first that some people were afraid to come out from their bubbles and rejoin the world. This left the workforce a bit short staffed with current employees struggling to cover the workload for the open jobs waiting for applicants. Apparently when additional work is assigned without any additional compensation it is called “quiet hiring”. I had never heard of this before. It is definitely a practice that needs to stop. It leads to burnout. Burnout leads to “quiet quitting” where employees still show up but do less and less work. The problem is that then others end up picking up the slack even more leading to even more burn out.

That brings us to where we are today. People are working mandatory overtime that they do not want with those employed working 10-12 hour days 5+ days a week in some cases for weeks without a day off just to cover the workload. No wonder people are burnt out. Vacations and sick calls are not covered just leading to more short staffing issues. *IF* you can actually get approved to take a vacation day. Most places are so short staffed they stopped approving time off due to “staffing issues”. So employees just call in sick… or just don’t show up for work. After all…What are they going to do? Fire you? Ha! They are already so short staffed that they need you even if you call in sick every Friday or just don’t show up for work then post photos of yourself on Facebook enjoying the beach in Cancun living your best life while your co-workers cover your work. (yeah, that just happened at my job in the last month).

So what is the solution? Until the staffing shortages can be fixed employees who show up and work hard should be treated and compensated better. Perhaps instead of forcing overtime on the companies terms let employees volunteer to to the additional work on their terms and possibly do some work from home or offer flexible hours so the work gets done but allows them to have a better balance. Maybe someone is a night owl and would rather work after their kids go to bed or they are an early riser and would rather come in early. Maybe instead of having hiring bonuses there should be retention bonuses and the wages that would have been paid to all the people who would have been working all the open positions should be added up together and divided among the hours worked by current staff so everyone gets a portion based on the numbers of hours they worked. It wouldn’t be much, but it is better than nothing. Even if it just covers that afternoon espresso to make it through the day it is a nice gesture. It should be by department based on the number of open jobs they have. So if your department is currently fully staffed, your employees are not working short and therefore are not eligible for the bonus. But if you are 2 people covering the work of 5 or 30 people covering the work of 34 that bonus will be proportional to the amount of extra work you are having to cover. Those who are covering more work should be compensated more…and that is in addition to the overtime needed to do the job. It may not cause overtime in the case of the 30 people covering the work of 34, but for those 2 people doing the work of 5…that is impossible without at least a little overtime.

So why talk about this? Well, it is something that really hits home for me. In my above example I am one of the 2 doing the work of 5…and my coworker just had surgery and will be off work for 3-4 months. I am now alone. Responsible for the workload of 5 people. We have open jobs with ZERO applicants. One of the jobs has been open for a few years, one has been open for 2 years and another for about a year and they will shortly be adding a 4th open job to cover the workload I am shouldering alone. I can work as much overtime as I want and I am currently working 50-60 hour weeks. I work until I am tired because I am NEVER finished. I come in early and work late every day and if I don’t have any plans I come in on Saturdays too.

I’m exhausted. I’m bitter. I don’t like to talk about work or think about work when I am not at work because it is so miserable. But the first thing most people ask me is “how’s work?” People seem to not understand just how bad the staffing situation is in some places, especially those who are not working or are working remote and not in an office environment. To most people my work situation sounds like a tall tale, but it is in fact very real. The one person who applied for the job was walked over to meet me in the interview and I was behind, breaking a sweat with people coming at me from all sides wanting things. They declined the job. I have requested that the next interview be just before the lunch hour so it is calmer and we don’t scare them away if anyone else applies for any of the open jobs.

Until we are fully staffed, I will just do what I can and hopefully people will understand that I am only one person. I will also fixate on my next vacation about a year from now. Knowing that work will not be my problem for at least 10 days when I return to the UK…This time with my husband for his first trip there.

Reminders

Is it just me or are grown adults unable to keep a calendar now?

I understand I’m a planner. My husband and I have a family calendar linked together on our phones to make sure that we are both on top of everything going on with each other and the kids. Dr appointments, school, events ect are all on this calendar (color coded for who’s event it is of course). This way at a glance we can see what all of us are doing for the day. In addition I have an old paper planner that I use to coordinate all I need to do between work, my photography, projects, volunteer work and other side hustle endeavors I’m working on. I have a lot of spoons in a lot of pots so I need something more than just appointments on the calendar.

This brings me to adults not being able to keep a calendar. Seriously, what is going on with that? I honestly do not need multiple reminders that I have a dentist appointment (currently the booking confirmation, 1 month reminder, 2 week reminder, 1 week reminder, 3 day reminder, 24 hour reminder and I know tomorrow I’ll get yet another reminder within a few hours of my appointment). Seriously, just send me the booking confirmation so I know we are on the same page and I’ll add it to my calendar. I’m a grown adult. I can read. I can keep track of when I need to be somewhere.

Sadly, I feel like I am in the minority now. I have a few friends who like me, keep a calendar and keep track of our schedules. But others just seem to think they are going to just remember everything and are constantly forgetting events, double or multiply booking themselves. Granted, I have one friend who just says “yes” to everything then seems to wait until the day of then only actually shows up to whatever she deems the most worth doing and skips everything else with a lame excuse. After a while we figured out her MO and I just stopped inviting her to things because she is so unreliable.

Anyway, back to all the reminders… is this a chicken and egg situation? Have people started using multiple reminders because people are unable to keep a calendar and just do what they want when they want without any consideration to a schedule (like my above mentioned friend) or did the multiple reminders for things make it so people no longer feel like they need to keep a calendar because the 487 reminders will tell them what they need to do and when.

When did we become people that constantly need to be reminded of everything? Now I’m not saying I never forget anything. Hell, this morning I forgot what I wanted to add to the grocery order between the kitchen and the living room where I left my phone. But my dentist appointment is on my joint calendar with my husband on my phone so he knows what’s going on. It’s in my personal planner so I remember when planning out what I need to do. Since it is mid-day tomorrow it is also on my work calendar so I remember to head over there at the end of lunch. I don’t need a 3rd party to remind me. I got this. I’m a responsible adult.

I know there are other responsible adults out there. I feel the majority of us can claim that title. But as in most things, the few ruin it for the many. I have to deal with multiple reminders (usually email and text. Sometimes email, text and phone call (like the portrait studio I take the kids to). At work I know the computer system sends out multiple reminders. But yet I still get patients who miss their appointments saying they forgot. How do you forget? You got at least 9 reminders probably 11 if you do online check in. Yet I still had my 3pm patient (my last patient of the day) show up at 4:25 on Friday (I’m off at 4pm). I was still there finishing up my last minute phone calls but my co worker saw him. My exam room is right next to my office so I heard him say that he got busy at work but knew as long as he got there before I left at 5 I’d see him. My co worker then told him that I’m off at 4, not 5. This is not an isolated incident. People come in all the time on the wrong day, wrong time, 1+ hours late because they were “busy” at the appointment time but decided to just come in at a time that worked for them fully knowing it was not their appointment. Now if people are early I’ll do all I can to see them early. But if they are more than 30 min late for their 15 min appointment I have already moved on.

Sometimes, it’s a situation where a road is closed and everyone is super late, in that case I take them as they get in but if you are just an irresponsible, inconsiderate jerk that just shows up whenever you want with zero regard for anyone else’s schedule you can rebook. It has become a massive problem not just at my job but everywhere. I see people come in super late for nail appointments or just walk in without an appointment and then walk out because they will need to wait to be fit in and the 10 minute wait is just too long. No one understands how busy they are…Really? 10 minutes is too long? Well, if you can’t wait 10 minutes to be worked in you do not have time for a manicure anyway. I have also been on the other side where I had an appointment, was there on time but had to wait a long time because so many people were late or showed up without an appointment and demanded to be fit in.

Why not just book an appointment and, well actually show up on time for it?

Why not note your appointments and obligations down in a calendar so you do not forget. You can set a reminder on your phone just incase you get busy. I set an alarm on my watch to go off when I need to remember that I have something at a particular time because life happens. We all get busy. But I am a responsible adult. I do not need a babysitter. I wish I could just opt out of all reminders and just get my confirmation and nothing else.

And it’s all back…

Yep. I gained it all back… plus an additional 2 lbs after Easter. But, this setback isn’t stopping me. The Monday after Easter I weighed in again, drew the line in the sand and started over.

Is it upsetting? Absolutely! But I didn’t get this fat overnight so I’m not going to get in shape overnight either. When setbacks happen the important thing is to get back up and try again. Do not give up…Even if you are now 2 lbs higher than your starting weight.

My first step was to get my eating habits in order. Things went downhill when I got my braces out on. My bite is off. It’s hard to chew. Everything gets stuck in them. My previous healthy eating habits of carrots, celery, apples and nuts as snacks all went away as I struggled to learn what I can and can’t eat with these stupid things stuck on my teeth.

2 months later I have it figured out. All the above snacks are still a no-go, but I have substituted other options. I’m happy to say that I think I have it down now and I’m happy to say that I have lost a total of 7 lbs!

Ok, I still have a very long way to go to my goal. But this is not a “loose a quick 5-10 lbs to look better in a bikini” situation. This is a I spent 9 months in a wheelchair, had to learn to walk again, then had 2 babies and just when I was getting into my groove the pandemic hit, the gym closed and I started working oodles of unwanted mandatory overtime for 3 years situation. It’s been a struggle. Life has happened. My weight creeped up over time and it will come off over time as well. I need to adjust to the changes that happen and move on. This is one of those times. I need to adjust.

With my eating habits under control my next step is to figure out how to add in more exercise. It’s a balancing act. My work schedule has changed. I canceled my gym membership because I just could not make it work with my schedule. So now I am walking. Every day when I get home from work I go for a walk before I go inside the house. So far that is working but I’ll need to see how I feel when it’s 100+ degrees in the summer. I may need to adjust again then.

I still want to add in yoga again. My practice has just not been there since the studio by my house closed…and the backup studio I liked closed…and the farther studio closed… and the classes at the community center stopped and so far have not re-started. Finding time to fit in a regular practice again has been on my “to do” list for a while. When there is a class the time and date is set. I stick with it. When I am just doing it at home my follow through is poor. It may seem strange but I just can’t get out of my head. I have to find a place to practice, then usually clean the floor (I have a dog and small kids). With the same dog/kid situation the place I find needs to be away from them or else I get the dog licking my face and the kids jumping on me. Then if the stars align and I start to practice I get distracted by things I need to do. I need to get out of the house to clear my mind.

So that is where I am. Back to square 1. Starting over. But the key is…I didn’t give up. I regrouped and started again.

Getting ready to travel

Some thing about FINALLY going on my Northern Lights trip in a few days really has put some pep in my step the closer I get. I first booked this trip shortly after I got back from the UK back in the fall of 2019. I set it up for Feb 2021. I was so excited to finally see the northern lights. Then Covid hit. But surely the pandemic would be over by February… In November 2020 I bumped my trip to February 2022. The pandemic will surely be over by then. Well, it wasnt and the travel restrictions still restricted me so in November I rebooked for 2023…after all…the 3rd time is the charm right?

I have sat and watched the restrictions and as it grew closer to the holidays I started to worry about the travel restrictions but they didn’t get tight again. Now here I am just days away from my long awaited bucket list trip to the northern lights and I am exited! I have my polar gear ready to go. I have a rough plan of things to do while I am there. I am still a little nervous about frostbite since I will not see any weather above freezing the entire time I am there and as a California girl… I really don’t do well in cold. I have consulted with a friend who grew up in Alaska who gave me some awesome tips on staying warm in the freezing temps. I have really learned a lot.

People are still surprised that I am going alone. I highly recommend solo travel. Why wait around for other people to get it together and want to go where you want to go when you want to go there? If you happen to have someone who travels similar to you and wants to go the same places you do by all means…DO IT! But, if people you know either have zero interest in going where you want to or lack the time or money to go with you do not put your life on hold waiting. Just go! you will meet new people along the way…People who also like to travel, are interested in the same things as you and have the same budget. After all…You met them while traveling to somewhere you are excited about.

This isn’t just for big trips, but small things too. Have you always wanted to do or see something but no one wants to go with you? Just go anyway. Have people who want to go do something but no on wants to make the decision on when? Make the decision for them. Pick the date and time and invite everyone who was interested with “Hey, I am going to ___ on ___ day at ____ time if you want to join me.” Then if they decline, or want to change the plan say “Ok. Well you have fun with that. Maybe next time.” then move on. Do not change your plans. If everyone declines just go anyway and have a great time.

I find the older I get that a lot of people are all talk and no action. People love the IDEA of going places and doing amazing things but when it really comes down to actually taking action they would rather just sit around the house in their PJs, binging Netflix and eating take out. Now there isn’t anything wrong with that. I enjoy a nice gluttonous day occasionally but I also have goals and dreams that I want to accomplish. I can’t do that from my couch.

So how do you make the switch from watching other people do amazing things on YouTube to being the person who is doing amazing things? Action. Make a plan and actually follow through with it. For example; I am planning on doing the Everest base camp trek in fall of 2024 for my 50th birthday. I want to do something epic and Everest is pretty epic. So, how do I make that dream a reality? Well, first I researched the trip and made a plan to see what I need for time and about how much it will cost including any specialized gear for the trip and I started that research over a year ago. Seriously. Then once I had my travel plan I started looking at training and what will I need to be able to do physically to train for that. Again, I made a plan. I am currently in what I call Phase 1 of my training plan that will last until September. Then I will move into Phase 2 for the winter. Phase 3 will start in the spring and the summer will be phase 4 as I approach my departure date. I will put the deposit down on my Everest trip when I return from the Northern Lights trip to secure my dates. I have a plan in place to pay it off before I enter phase 2 of my training. Action is what makes dreams a reality.

So stop wishing for your dreams to come true. Make a plan no matter if it is big or small. Then take action to make those dreams come true. Your friends and family may think you are nuts for doing all these things and some may grumble or even mock you… but I guarantee you that more people are interested in hearing about the amazing things you did than anyone’s endless days sitting on the couch, binging Netflix and eating take out in their PJs.

***The featured image on this post is of me, alone, preparing to do a wildlife safari in a marine estuary about a 2 hour drive from my house. No one was interested in going so I went alone and had an AMAZING time. It was definitely a hidden gem.

Bucket List – Grand Canyon

Pretty much everyone I know knows that I am big on setting goals, making a plan and achieving those goals. That includes bucket lists. Everyone should have one. If you don’t, start one. Spend the $0.50 and get a cheap notebook or spend more and get something better, but do it. Some people do electronic but for this I think physical paper is best. There is something very satisfying about actually crossing it off and seeing all you have done.

I started the bucket lists back in the late 80’s early 90’s before a bucket list was a thing. It was just a list of things I wanted to do someday. Through the years I have added things and crossed others off. In some cases my ideas or goals changed as I grew older so I took some items off because they were no longer important to me as an adult. I have lost track of how many lists I have had through the years as notebooks filled or fell apart and I copied my items left to a new book. I have since dedicated a whole page to some items (like see all the California missions and all the California lighthouses) so the goal is at the top and all the items needed to achieve the goal are listed under to be crossed off as I go to them. (A note about the missions…ask for a mission passport in the gift shop at the first one you go to and get the stamps at all the missions as you visit. I went to 4 before I found out about this)

You may wonder what all that has to do with the Grand Canyon…well it has been on my bucket list since I started my bucket list. Then when I went to Vegas for my 21st birthday I saw a brochure for helicopter flights to the Grand Canyon where you actually land inside the canyon, have a picnic then fly out over the Vegas strip at night. OMG I was in LOVE with the idea but that price…ouch. It went on the bucket list where it sat for 26 years.

You read that right…26 years. In May 2022 I finally achieved that goal and it was every bit as amazing as I thought it would be. Flying in over the desert, dropping into the Grand Canyon and flying through below the rim so you can see all the little slot canyons that branch off to the sides… it was every bit as amazing as I dreamed and totally worth waiting 26 years to do rather than just giving up because the price was too high.

The point is no matter what the dream is you can achieve it. It just takes planning and determination. No one needs to know you are working on it. Even if you just put $1 a week into an envelope to save up for something special you will eventually get there. Make a list. Make a plan. Achieve your dreams. Time will go on if you achieve your dreams or not so you may as well be amazing!!

My hubby and I posing for a photo on our anniversary in the Grand Canyon.

Aging and New Beginnings

Recently I seem to be having a lot of conversations with my friends about the future. It seems as if many people are unsure about what to do with the rest of their lives and are rethinking things post-pandemic. Some are looking at changing their jobs, moving somewhere new, going back to school, and starting or ending relationships. We are not talking about small changes, but large ones. Has the pandemic shown us life is too short to not be happy? Are we under more pressure than usual? Or are people just more open to other options and more willing to make changes?

Honestly, it is hard to know. People have always made changes, but it seems like there are more people making big changes than there was pre-pandemic. I get it. Looking at my own life I would love to just uproot and move somewhere else. Living in California, I am so tired of the homeless encampments everywhere, the fires, the horrible road conditions, the poor schools, high cost of living and so many other things that a move to somewhere else sounds like a dream. I also know that I have less than a decade to my house being paid off. I love the beaches, mountains and beauty of the nature areas of this state. I love the availability and variety of fresh produce and the cultural diversity of the area. My job is also here…Although if I get a good enough offer I will be out of that door so fast… So I get the job changes too.

The long term staffing shortages have gotten REALLY old and there is no end in site either. People are now refusing to volunteer for overtime anymore. Management is just accepting it right now…But, I can see the mandatory overtime coming soon again, probably by April. I am not looking forward to that day. The last few times the mandatory period lasted at least 6 months but it seems to run for about 9 months with the holidays free of mandatory overtime in November, December and January. In a dream world, If I can find a job with similar pay and benefits I would leave. If I get offered a job where I can have flexible hours and work remotely I would even be willing to take less money and less time off.

I can see why people are wondering “Where do I go from here?” I can see why they are looking at all areas of their lives and making changes. I have had time to think about my life in the closures and the time after and there are changes I want to make as well even though I am happy overall. Even I can see where there is room for improvement.

To all those pondering a change… I wish you luck and happiness.

My wellness journey – back to the grind

I feel as if I am starting a grand adventure with no idea of what challenges I will encounter along the way. On this journey I have some friends this time. I have hedged my bets for success and set up a few different support systems to hopefully make this time a roaring success.

To be successful I felt like I needed to put some supports in place with those that I am around the most so at least that way they are less likely to tempt be by being embarrassed if they fall off the health wagon. I always have an accomplice with one of my oldest friends who lives on the other side of the planet from me. She gets me. Even though I live just outside San Francisco and she lives just outside Melbourne. We are always sharing our workouts and meal ideas and out successes and failures. This has gone on for years as we have seen each other through ups and downs we are always there to support each other. But we only see each other every few years even though we message each other constantly and even talk via facetime when we have a lot to say and it isn’t the middle of the might for one of us. But I needed to get those on board that I see daily.

My next accomplice is a friend of mine that has just as much weight to loose as I do who also has some similar challenges like a special needs child at home and a few health challenges of her own. We are both motivated to get in shape and have healthy outings where we make healthy choices and go for walks and even find time to chill out at the float spa and oxygen bar as we sip our tea. We are both in it and will be for a while. Neither of us are going to win any speed races but I can lend her a steady hand for steps to help her stay stable and she doesn’t go so fast that I need my inhalers.

Up next I needed my co worker to be on board. We share an office and I can’t have her eating unhealthy snacks while I munch on carrots and celery. Well, a few days ago she made a pact with one of my other co workers to start going to the 5 AM class at a local gym starting on Jan 7th for their 3 month challenge. If you make your weight goal and check in for a certain number of workouts in that period of time your gym dues get refunded to you. It is not cheap so they are motivated. This is awesome for me because we should all be up and going to the gym at the same time and will have a group text between the 3 of us to keep us motivated. It double works for me because the person who is budding up with the one I share an office with is the other person who starts an hour before everyone else with me. We are literally the only people working in the building that early.

That leaves me to my home. I had to get my husband on board or all that work with my friends can be ruined with one binging weekend with him. I put my foot down just before New Years and told him no more takeout. We either go out for a date night or out with friends for a sit down meal or we make food at home. Take out is dead to us. I them socked up our freezer with individual frozen meals of all kinds so if we are hungry but too tired to cook we just pop one of those in the microwave for 5 min and call it a night. But NO TAKEOUT. I am also in a fitbit step challenge with him to always get more steps average per week than he does but I am not telling him we are in a challenge until I average at least a few thousand more than him consistently. He is a stay at home dad and has time that I just do not have to workout. If I tell him we are in a challenge then he will get off his butt and I will never have a chance of catching him. I need my habits in place first before I throw the challenge out to him. Sneaky? Maybe a little bit. But I got the idea from him who secretly was in a challenge with a friend of mine who was running a 5K every day before work.

So now I have Home, Work and my social life taken care of so hopefully this will set me up for success. But I still wanted something to challenge myself to stay on target so I started a dietbet. You may not have heard of dietbet. What does is let you bet against yourself in a weight loss challenge. I did the short one that lasts 4 weeks where you loose 4% of your starting weight. You weigh in with a photo with the secret password that is sent to the judges who then approve your weigh in or have you re-do it if something seems fishy. You then start your challenge. You weigh in weekly to get a chance at various raffle prizes to track your progress in the same way as your initial weigh in. Then you weigh out at the end of your challenge. If you make your goal not only do you get your money back but you split the pot of money from everyone who did not make their goal. I have done the challenges before. Sometimes I win, sometimes I loose. I really don;t mind if I fall short of my goal and loose because I have still made progress toward my ultimate goal of loosing the weight and getting healthier…but is is nice to win.

I started logging my foods and drinking more water a few weeks ago so I would already be in the habit by New years. That leaves my skincare goal. Most of the time I fall short because I am so tired in the morning I forget my moisturizer. So I solved this problem by just bringing another set of my morning skincare into work and leaving it in my desk drawer. I have no idea why I didn’t think of this a long time ago. With that problem solved I am down to my stress management…always a challenge for me.. So I purchased a membership for a monthly massage. I don’t like to be wasteful so this way I am forced to take an hour out for myself every month and chill out. Add this to the quarterly float theorthern Light spas with my friend and I am off to a good start. Leaving my last challenge to fit in 15 min of stretching/meditation in the evening. I decided to do this when I got upstairs to get Pjs for my kids in our quiet time before they go to bed.

Overall, it is not a perfect plan, but it is a plan. I started parts of it back in December and I am sure I will modify it more as time goes on and I see what works/does not work. I have a basic plan and I will modify it a little every month either fixing things that are not working or increasing my workouts or changing them up as needed. This is not a quick 10 or 20 lbs. I have over 100 lbs to loose to my goal weight. This is definitely a long journey and one that will probably take me a few years to complete but I am hoping to have lost at least 100 lbs by New Years 2024.

This is my Journey. I will take it one day at a time.

Reno

I recently turned 48. I am trying hard to believe that I am no longer young and I am staring down 50 that is approaching faster and faster every day. I have had a rough relationship with celebrating birthdays because for the most part it depends on others and I prefer to be selfish on my birthday and just relax or go somewhere amazing and have a one in a lifetime experience. No one ever actually listens. That changed this year.

Several months ago my husband said “lets get away for your birthday this year” Now I am picturing lounging on a beach somewhere with a tropical drink with a little umbrella in it. He says he will plan everything. It will be amazing. I am a bit worried about this because I am the traveler. I am the planner. It is my thing. He is so excited that I agree to leave it all to him. Then he tells me we are going to Reno, NV.

Reno.

Dirty old Reno.

I hate Reno. I’m a beach person not a desert person and I don’t like the smell of cigarette smoke or gambling. What is he thinking? He is so excited (like a kid on Christmas morning) so I plaster a smile on my face and ask him if he is sure and what he has in mind. Then he tells me that he was watching YouTube videos about the best day spas in the united states and the Peppermill in Reno has one of the top 10 so we should check it out.

Ok, Reno is sounding better now. But, when I was last there in the 1990’s it was not exactly a nice place to go. It lacked the dazzle of Vegas or the natural splendor of Tahoe. I ask him how old this video was that he watched. So he pulls it up. It is recent. Then he pulls up a video of the Peppermill and it is reminiscent of the Belagio or the Venician resorts in Vegas. I am intrigued, but still not excited because, well… it’s still Reno.

A few months go by and he has made all the arrangements. We have childcare covered for the time we are out of town. He made reservations at an Italian restaurant and a steakhouse for our two nights there. We are spending all day in the spa relaxing on my actual birthday getting pampered and relaxing. I’m still skeptical and he is still super excited.

The day finally arrives for us to depart. We load up the car and head out…to Reno. I’m expecting to see beautiful fall color, but no one told the trees. We get to the peppermill and it is busier than I expected to see on a weekday. They are hosting an educational conference for veterinarians. It actually was nice inside. It was super clean. The staff was friendly. Our room was amazing. The food was great. If they were short staffed, it sure didn’t show at all. That was something we have not seen here in California for years. The weather was even perfect. He did an amazing job.

I guess it is time for me to let go, stop being such a control freak and trust that the man I have been married to for 11 years actually knows me pretty well and is capable of planning a trip for us that I will enjoy. Maybe I don’t always have to “do it all”. Maybe I can let go a little and relax and know that everything will be ok.

I know that sounds a little odd. But, I have spent most of my adult life only being able to rely on myself through my first marriage to an alcoholic who cared more about his TV programs and his next drink than me and in my single years. Relying on anyone else almost always led to me being let down and me scrambling at the last minute trying to do it all myself. I forgot what it was like to be able to just let go and know things will be ok. I’m slowly learning to let go and accept that others are capable of doing things too. I do not have to always carry the burden. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.