Tag: adulting

Welcome 2024!

I am actually fairly happy to see 2023 behind me. It was a hard year, granted I have had worse. 2023 was tough because of how much overtime I worked. I felt as if it stole my life away. I was working 10-12 hours a day Monday-Friday and another 8-10 on Saturday… I did this for 5 months straight. I was completely exhausted at the end in mid-October and didn’t start to feel human again until around Thanksgiving.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom. We did fix up some things around the house and booked a nice trip to the UK for our anniversary in 2024 with the overtime. Pretty much every time I got paid I’d look at how much I made in OT and book another part of the trip so everything is paid in full except food, drink and our train tickets that I can only book 2 months out. It was nice to have something to look forward to while working so much.

With all that extra work some things slipped. I am back on track working on my mental and physical health. I even joined a stress management program. I feel like I lost out on a lot of family time so I have also booked some fun stuff to do with the kids in 2024 as well as an epic solo trip for my 50th birthday in the fall.

I am choosing to be positive as I enter 2024. I have a lot to look forward to as I spend more time with friends and family but I am especially excited about the travel. From the short overnight and day trips with the kids, to taking my husband to the UK for our anniversary (a trip he is very excited about and it will be the farthest he has ever been from home) to my epic birthday trip to see Nepal and Tibet where I will trek to Everest base camp, enjoy a helicopter ride to Annapurna base camp and end with a safari in the Chitwan National Park in Nepal.

Yes, 2024 will be an exciting year.

Work-Life Balance

My co worker has been off work since May and will be off until October-ish. I have noticed a direct correlation between my weight, energy level and number of hours worked. I have noticed the higher my workload the lower my energy level is for anything outside work. The more number of hours a week I work, the higher my weight goes. I honestly do not know how to combat that.

I’ll use this week as an example… I am working six 10+ hour days. I have about an hour commute each way. I leave for work between 6-6:15 AM and get home from work between 6-7 PM. I am exhausted by the time I get home and could seriously fall asleep on the couch if the kids would not jump on me. But a mother’s work is never done. I start the bedtime routine when I get home. The kids go to bed at 8 and I head upstairs to get ready for bed myself between 9-10 PM and get up by 5 AM to start it all over the next day.

I completely lack balance. I miss my 7:30-4PM shift only 5 days a week. I miss having the energy to exercise in the mornings before work and still have time and energy to do something after work. A two day weekend seems like such a luxury and distant memory now.

My long time readers know that I do not really do New Years Resolutions but instead make changes and set goals around my birthday. Smaller goals for most birthdays that I can accomplish by my next birthday and larger 5+ year goals on the birthdays that end in a 5 or a 0. With my birthday approaching roughly the same time my coworker should be returning to work I feel it is the perfect time for a reset of my life…again.

Now this happens off and on where things get so out of whack that I need to make radical changes to get back on track. It isn’t as if I just decide one day to chuck all my goals and live a life that does not bring me peace. It happens slowly. I started getting off track with the pandemic with the lack of gym access and my beloved Yoga studio by the waterfront closing. The staffing shortages and overtime just made things worse. My stress levels and weight were rising and my general health was just not there. Then I was hit with a big blow to my health with my reaction to my Covid shot. I am so happy to have survived the reaction but years later I am still dealing with the complications from it. Complications that no one can tell me what to expect in the future. No idea if they will be lifelong problems or if they will go away.

So I have 2 months to soul search, evaluate all aspects of my life and figure out what changes I want to make. I will then come up with a plan and set short term goals. I already know a couple changes I am going to make. I have a couple others that I am on the fence about changing or not because they have both positive and negative points. Maybe they just need a bit of a tweak. I have other things that I am happy with, but could be better. I also have a long list of things I want to do and places I want to go.

I need a plan.

Quiet quitting / Quiet hiring

With all the burnout from working short staffed for years I have seen some of my co-workers slowly start to “slack off” in response to the constant addition of more responsibilities because there simply is not enough people to do the work. I thought this was just a unique thing for healthcare since we lost so much staff during the pandemic and people are reluctant to work in healthcare now that it has passed. I know pretty much everywhere is hiring, many with signing bonuses and other things to sweeten the pot and attract workers but this is not unique to healthcare. It appears to be happening in ALL industries.

How did this happen? Where did all the workers go? How are people supporting themselves and their families without jobs? Why are people not applying for the open jobs?

I understood at first that some people were afraid to come out from their bubbles and rejoin the world. This left the workforce a bit short staffed with current employees struggling to cover the workload for the open jobs waiting for applicants. Apparently when additional work is assigned without any additional compensation it is called “quiet hiring”. I had never heard of this before. It is definitely a practice that needs to stop. It leads to burnout. Burnout leads to “quiet quitting” where employees still show up but do less and less work. The problem is that then others end up picking up the slack even more leading to even more burn out.

That brings us to where we are today. People are working mandatory overtime that they do not want with those employed working 10-12 hour days 5+ days a week in some cases for weeks without a day off just to cover the workload. No wonder people are burnt out. Vacations and sick calls are not covered just leading to more short staffing issues. *IF* you can actually get approved to take a vacation day. Most places are so short staffed they stopped approving time off due to “staffing issues”. So employees just call in sick… or just don’t show up for work. After all…What are they going to do? Fire you? Ha! They are already so short staffed that they need you even if you call in sick every Friday or just don’t show up for work then post photos of yourself on Facebook enjoying the beach in Cancun living your best life while your co-workers cover your work. (yeah, that just happened at my job in the last month).

So what is the solution? Until the staffing shortages can be fixed employees who show up and work hard should be treated and compensated better. Perhaps instead of forcing overtime on the companies terms let employees volunteer to to the additional work on their terms and possibly do some work from home or offer flexible hours so the work gets done but allows them to have a better balance. Maybe someone is a night owl and would rather work after their kids go to bed or they are an early riser and would rather come in early. Maybe instead of having hiring bonuses there should be retention bonuses and the wages that would have been paid to all the people who would have been working all the open positions should be added up together and divided among the hours worked by current staff so everyone gets a portion based on the numbers of hours they worked. It wouldn’t be much, but it is better than nothing. Even if it just covers that afternoon espresso to make it through the day it is a nice gesture. It should be by department based on the number of open jobs they have. So if your department is currently fully staffed, your employees are not working short and therefore are not eligible for the bonus. But if you are 2 people covering the work of 5 or 30 people covering the work of 34 that bonus will be proportional to the amount of extra work you are having to cover. Those who are covering more work should be compensated more…and that is in addition to the overtime needed to do the job. It may not cause overtime in the case of the 30 people covering the work of 34, but for those 2 people doing the work of 5…that is impossible without at least a little overtime.

So why talk about this? Well, it is something that really hits home for me. In my above example I am one of the 2 doing the work of 5…and my coworker just had surgery and will be off work for 3-4 months. I am now alone. Responsible for the workload of 5 people. We have open jobs with ZERO applicants. One of the jobs has been open for a few years, one has been open for 2 years and another for about a year and they will shortly be adding a 4th open job to cover the workload I am shouldering alone. I can work as much overtime as I want and I am currently working 50-60 hour weeks. I work until I am tired because I am NEVER finished. I come in early and work late every day and if I don’t have any plans I come in on Saturdays too.

I’m exhausted. I’m bitter. I don’t like to talk about work or think about work when I am not at work because it is so miserable. But the first thing most people ask me is “how’s work?” People seem to not understand just how bad the staffing situation is in some places, especially those who are not working or are working remote and not in an office environment. To most people my work situation sounds like a tall tale, but it is in fact very real. The one person who applied for the job was walked over to meet me in the interview and I was behind, breaking a sweat with people coming at me from all sides wanting things. They declined the job. I have requested that the next interview be just before the lunch hour so it is calmer and we don’t scare them away if anyone else applies for any of the open jobs.

Until we are fully staffed, I will just do what I can and hopefully people will understand that I am only one person. I will also fixate on my next vacation about a year from now. Knowing that work will not be my problem for at least 10 days when I return to the UK…This time with my husband for his first trip there.

Reminders

Is it just me or are grown adults unable to keep a calendar now?

I understand I’m a planner. My husband and I have a family calendar linked together on our phones to make sure that we are both on top of everything going on with each other and the kids. Dr appointments, school, events ect are all on this calendar (color coded for who’s event it is of course). This way at a glance we can see what all of us are doing for the day. In addition I have an old paper planner that I use to coordinate all I need to do between work, my photography, projects, volunteer work and other side hustle endeavors I’m working on. I have a lot of spoons in a lot of pots so I need something more than just appointments on the calendar.

This brings me to adults not being able to keep a calendar. Seriously, what is going on with that? I honestly do not need multiple reminders that I have a dentist appointment (currently the booking confirmation, 1 month reminder, 2 week reminder, 1 week reminder, 3 day reminder, 24 hour reminder and I know tomorrow I’ll get yet another reminder within a few hours of my appointment). Seriously, just send me the booking confirmation so I know we are on the same page and I’ll add it to my calendar. I’m a grown adult. I can read. I can keep track of when I need to be somewhere.

Sadly, I feel like I am in the minority now. I have a few friends who like me, keep a calendar and keep track of our schedules. But others just seem to think they are going to just remember everything and are constantly forgetting events, double or multiply booking themselves. Granted, I have one friend who just says “yes” to everything then seems to wait until the day of then only actually shows up to whatever she deems the most worth doing and skips everything else with a lame excuse. After a while we figured out her MO and I just stopped inviting her to things because she is so unreliable.

Anyway, back to all the reminders… is this a chicken and egg situation? Have people started using multiple reminders because people are unable to keep a calendar and just do what they want when they want without any consideration to a schedule (like my above mentioned friend) or did the multiple reminders for things make it so people no longer feel like they need to keep a calendar because the 487 reminders will tell them what they need to do and when.

When did we become people that constantly need to be reminded of everything? Now I’m not saying I never forget anything. Hell, this morning I forgot what I wanted to add to the grocery order between the kitchen and the living room where I left my phone. But my dentist appointment is on my joint calendar with my husband on my phone so he knows what’s going on. It’s in my personal planner so I remember when planning out what I need to do. Since it is mid-day tomorrow it is also on my work calendar so I remember to head over there at the end of lunch. I don’t need a 3rd party to remind me. I got this. I’m a responsible adult.

I know there are other responsible adults out there. I feel the majority of us can claim that title. But as in most things, the few ruin it for the many. I have to deal with multiple reminders (usually email and text. Sometimes email, text and phone call (like the portrait studio I take the kids to). At work I know the computer system sends out multiple reminders. But yet I still get patients who miss their appointments saying they forgot. How do you forget? You got at least 9 reminders probably 11 if you do online check in. Yet I still had my 3pm patient (my last patient of the day) show up at 4:25 on Friday (I’m off at 4pm). I was still there finishing up my last minute phone calls but my co worker saw him. My exam room is right next to my office so I heard him say that he got busy at work but knew as long as he got there before I left at 5 I’d see him. My co worker then told him that I’m off at 4, not 5. This is not an isolated incident. People come in all the time on the wrong day, wrong time, 1+ hours late because they were “busy” at the appointment time but decided to just come in at a time that worked for them fully knowing it was not their appointment. Now if people are early I’ll do all I can to see them early. But if they are more than 30 min late for their 15 min appointment I have already moved on.

Sometimes, it’s a situation where a road is closed and everyone is super late, in that case I take them as they get in but if you are just an irresponsible, inconsiderate jerk that just shows up whenever you want with zero regard for anyone else’s schedule you can rebook. It has become a massive problem not just at my job but everywhere. I see people come in super late for nail appointments or just walk in without an appointment and then walk out because they will need to wait to be fit in and the 10 minute wait is just too long. No one understands how busy they are…Really? 10 minutes is too long? Well, if you can’t wait 10 minutes to be worked in you do not have time for a manicure anyway. I have also been on the other side where I had an appointment, was there on time but had to wait a long time because so many people were late or showed up without an appointment and demanded to be fit in.

Why not just book an appointment and, well actually show up on time for it?

Why not note your appointments and obligations down in a calendar so you do not forget. You can set a reminder on your phone just incase you get busy. I set an alarm on my watch to go off when I need to remember that I have something at a particular time because life happens. We all get busy. But I am a responsible adult. I do not need a babysitter. I wish I could just opt out of all reminders and just get my confirmation and nothing else.

And it’s all back…

Yep. I gained it all back… plus an additional 2 lbs after Easter. But, this setback isn’t stopping me. The Monday after Easter I weighed in again, drew the line in the sand and started over.

Is it upsetting? Absolutely! But I didn’t get this fat overnight so I’m not going to get in shape overnight either. When setbacks happen the important thing is to get back up and try again. Do not give up…Even if you are now 2 lbs higher than your starting weight.

My first step was to get my eating habits in order. Things went downhill when I got my braces out on. My bite is off. It’s hard to chew. Everything gets stuck in them. My previous healthy eating habits of carrots, celery, apples and nuts as snacks all went away as I struggled to learn what I can and can’t eat with these stupid things stuck on my teeth.

2 months later I have it figured out. All the above snacks are still a no-go, but I have substituted other options. I’m happy to say that I think I have it down now and I’m happy to say that I have lost a total of 7 lbs!

Ok, I still have a very long way to go to my goal. But this is not a “loose a quick 5-10 lbs to look better in a bikini” situation. This is a I spent 9 months in a wheelchair, had to learn to walk again, then had 2 babies and just when I was getting into my groove the pandemic hit, the gym closed and I started working oodles of unwanted mandatory overtime for 3 years situation. It’s been a struggle. Life has happened. My weight creeped up over time and it will come off over time as well. I need to adjust to the changes that happen and move on. This is one of those times. I need to adjust.

With my eating habits under control my next step is to figure out how to add in more exercise. It’s a balancing act. My work schedule has changed. I canceled my gym membership because I just could not make it work with my schedule. So now I am walking. Every day when I get home from work I go for a walk before I go inside the house. So far that is working but I’ll need to see how I feel when it’s 100+ degrees in the summer. I may need to adjust again then.

I still want to add in yoga again. My practice has just not been there since the studio by my house closed…and the backup studio I liked closed…and the farther studio closed… and the classes at the community center stopped and so far have not re-started. Finding time to fit in a regular practice again has been on my “to do” list for a while. When there is a class the time and date is set. I stick with it. When I am just doing it at home my follow through is poor. It may seem strange but I just can’t get out of my head. I have to find a place to practice, then usually clean the floor (I have a dog and small kids). With the same dog/kid situation the place I find needs to be away from them or else I get the dog licking my face and the kids jumping on me. Then if the stars align and I start to practice I get distracted by things I need to do. I need to get out of the house to clear my mind.

So that is where I am. Back to square 1. Starting over. But the key is…I didn’t give up. I regrouped and started again.

Covid has finally hit our home

Rumor is that the pandemic is going to be declared over soon. Up until now we have managed to avoid getting it… So, when it hit our home it wasn’t even the kids that brought it into our home or me working in patient care… It was my husband, who rarely goes anywhere. We have no idea where he picked it up since I am the one who is always out and about. All and all he has a pretty mild case. Fever for a few days, but not super high. The cough is probably the worst part for him. The kids are pretty mild. occasional cough, no fever. I am still negative and symptom free. How did this happen?

Apparently, we are not immune. Well, I might be.

I personally can’t wait to move on to post-pandemic bliss where we worry about something other than germs. I’m looking forward to masking going away and seeing peoples faces again. I hope the plexiglass barriers go away so I can hear what cashiers are saying again. I look forward to not yelling all the time so people can hear me through the mask and plastic barrier.

I miss pre-pandemic life…and pre-pandemic prices. But it isn’t all negative. I’m just going to say it… I LOVE curbside pickup! I love being able to get pretty much anything delivered. As a busy mom, not having to park, go into a store, shop, checkout and go back out to my car and just being able to order what I want and just pull into the designated area and pick my items up is amazing! I am hoping to never go grocery shopping again. Having someone do it for me then drop it off at my house is the best thing ever!

I’m looking forward to business hours going back to normal so I can enjoy supporting small businesses again. I don’t know about everyone else, but having places closed on Sundays and evenings is tough for me. Saturdays are often busy with events so I run errands on Sundays. Now I may eventually get use to this but after years of only the post office, Chick-fil-a and Hobby Lobby being closed on Sundays other places that use to be open all weekend (or open until 6-8pm) being closed now is apparently hard for me to get use to. I guess I’m just an old dog now and having trouble adjusting.

Maybe this is the “new normal”.

Maybe this is just temporary until people go back to work and places are fully staffed.

Maybe I just need to learn to check the hours of places before I’m standing at the locked door looking for the hours…yeah, it’s probably this one.

Honestly, this is not a new thing for me. I have often wondered why so many places don’t open until 10 or 11. I’m usually up, dressed and ready to start my day by 7 on the weekends (6 on weekdays because I start work at 7:30 AM) who are these people who don’t get out of the house until 11? By 11 I’m usually hungry and trying to figure out what I want for lunch.

So for this year I’m going to try something new… check the hours and days places are open before I go.

Aging and New Beginnings

Recently I seem to be having a lot of conversations with my friends about the future. It seems as if many people are unsure about what to do with the rest of their lives and are rethinking things post-pandemic. Some are looking at changing their jobs, moving somewhere new, going back to school, and starting or ending relationships. We are not talking about small changes, but large ones. Has the pandemic shown us life is too short to not be happy? Are we under more pressure than usual? Or are people just more open to other options and more willing to make changes?

Honestly, it is hard to know. People have always made changes, but it seems like there are more people making big changes than there was pre-pandemic. I get it. Looking at my own life I would love to just uproot and move somewhere else. Living in California, I am so tired of the homeless encampments everywhere, the fires, the horrible road conditions, the poor schools, high cost of living and so many other things that a move to somewhere else sounds like a dream. I also know that I have less than a decade to my house being paid off. I love the beaches, mountains and beauty of the nature areas of this state. I love the availability and variety of fresh produce and the cultural diversity of the area. My job is also here…Although if I get a good enough offer I will be out of that door so fast… So I get the job changes too.

The long term staffing shortages have gotten REALLY old and there is no end in site either. People are now refusing to volunteer for overtime anymore. Management is just accepting it right now…But, I can see the mandatory overtime coming soon again, probably by April. I am not looking forward to that day. The last few times the mandatory period lasted at least 6 months but it seems to run for about 9 months with the holidays free of mandatory overtime in November, December and January. In a dream world, If I can find a job with similar pay and benefits I would leave. If I get offered a job where I can have flexible hours and work remotely I would even be willing to take less money and less time off.

I can see why people are wondering “Where do I go from here?” I can see why they are looking at all areas of their lives and making changes. I have had time to think about my life in the closures and the time after and there are changes I want to make as well even though I am happy overall. Even I can see where there is room for improvement.

To all those pondering a change… I wish you luck and happiness.

My weight loss journey-November update

It has been a while since I have updated my progress. Not that it hasn’t been on my mind but life happens…in my case work.

I’m sure I have mentioned my hatred of the insane workloads and all the mandatory overtime with all the 12 hour days and 6 day weeks. Finally September arrived and my coworker took the overtime allowing me a bit of normalcy back in my life.

Then the day from hell happened and I finally cracked. I got to work at 7:30 AM as usual and the alarm was going off. With the engineers on strike there was no one to turn them off. It took until 3:30 in the afternoon to get the alarm shut off. Also the AC was stuck on Arctic blast and our department was 56 degrees…also unable to be fixed. By the time I left work at 4:30 I was in tears. My nerves were shot. My eyelids were twitching and I had a pounding headache.

I go home and still feel like hell. My Blood pressure is high so I go to bed. Surely I’ll feel better in the morning. I wake up the next day (a Saturday) and my husband tells me “happy weekend! You don’t have to go to work today!” I start crying. My pulse starts racing. I can’t get it together. So he gets up and tells me to take my time. He will get the kids up and start breakfast.

I can’t get it under control. I try to get out of the house and take one of my kids to the pumpkin patch and start having chest pain. I think this is it. That place is actually killing me. I turn around, take my son home and go to the ER.

I get a full work up to make sure I am not actually dying and end up with a diagnosis of extreme stress, a chill pill and a follow up with my medical dr who then takes me off work and puts me on anxiety medicine to try to help me get under control.

A few weeks later I’m starting to feel human again. I made some changes at work (including actively looking for another job). I slowed down and I get done what I get done. If people need to wait oh well. Maybe they should hire enough staff to cover the volume of work that needs to be done. I’m fully booked to the end of the year. Today I started the pile of consults that need to be seen but there’s nowhere to put them. I’m not overbooking myself again so people get seen in a timely manner.

I am also waiting on a surgery date in January for carpal tunnel surgery. So I’m not booking anyone in January until I get that date. I’ll book up to that day…when I get it.

Even with all that is going on and Halloween I still managed to loose just shy of 6 lbs in October. I’m hoping I can continue to slowly loose the weight through the holidays because overtime just started up again with today as my first 12 hour day again. I agreed to 1 a week and I choose what day it is and no more Saturdays.

I’m really hoping I get the job I applied for a few days ago. It is my light at the end of the tunnel. 20 min commute vs 1 hour, 1/4 the patient load and higher pay. At first I was thinking I would maybe pick up 1 Saturday a month to help my current coworker…but my husband is right. I’m already detaching from that job in hopes of getting this new one. Once I leave, I will not be back. That mess is their problem, not mine.

Not my monkeys, not my circus.

I just keep focused on the light, think positive and hope like hell that I get that job and can move on.

It came up too fast and now it’s over…

Well, that time is here and gone. I was planning on a slim, sexy body for my brothers wedding and while I failed at that, I am about 35 lbs lighter than when I started and still looked better than if I was 35 lbs heavier. As an added bonus all the running around and dancing left me 4 lbs lighter after the 4 day weekend.

I’m not stopping here. I am still determined to get back into shape. The pandemic may have thrown me a curve ball but I’m slowly working on it. One this this weekend has shown me is that my day job, commute and lack of movement on weekdays is really what is stopping me from being fit and fabulous.

I need to figure out how to add exercise to my weekdays sans-gym. Even moderately active will be an improvement on my 3000 steps a day I get chained to my computer. I need to figure out something to get moving to reach my goal of being fabulously fit at 50. (I have 36 months to make this happen, but I’m aiming for 24 or less so I have it off for a year before my 50th)

It is said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a first step. Tomorrow I’m taking that first step and going back to my mosquito, wild animal walks around the park and back in the mornings. I have insect repellent and pepper spray. So as long as I don’t spook a skunk or come face to face with the bobcat or mountain lion that occasionally wander our neighborhood I should be good. (I have only seen the bobcat. But my friend a couple streets over has seen the mountain lion ahhh the joys of living close to nature)

36 months to 50…

I got this!

My weight loss journey-the hubby joins me

Things are returning to “normal” in our house. The kids are back in school and my coworker is trying to buy her 1st home and actually wants to work ALL of the overtime until she is settled and I am happy to let her! With this weeks overtime behind me and no more in the future I’m feeling human again.

With my husband on board with the weight loss it is making my life easier with less temptation. Our new fridge was delivered a week ago (the old one finally died.) so we are stocking back up on healthy food and cooking at home. It was rough going for the few weeks between “fridge isn’t working” and “new one is here” but we survived.

My hurdle now is exercise. With masking back at the gym it’s a no-go. I can’t do cardio in a mask. I already wheeze like crazy without the mask adding to my struggle. I was full on ready to get back to my walking around the park and back then the fires started and now the air quality is “chunky” with a mist of ash falling constantly. I’m pretty sure the smoke and ash are not good for my lungs. My current plan is to skip cardio and work on my core and stretching until masking at the gym goes away or the air is breathable outside again.

Halfway through august and I’m down 3 lbs so far. At least it’s going in the right direction.