hopes – Working Mom – Travel Dreams

Bucket List – Grand Canyon

Pretty much everyone I know knows that I am big on setting goals, making a plan and achieving those goals. That includes bucket lists. Everyone should have one. If you don’t, start one. Spend the $0.50 and get a cheap notebook or spend more and get something better, but do it. Some people do electronic but for this I think physical paper is best. There is something very satisfying about actually crossing it off and seeing all you have done.

I started the bucket lists back in the late 80’s early 90’s before a bucket list was a thing. It was just a list of things I wanted to do someday. Through the years I have added things and crossed others off. In some cases my ideas or goals changed as I grew older so I took some items off because they were no longer important to me as an adult. I have lost track of how many lists I have had through the years as notebooks filled or fell apart and I copied my items left to a new book. I have since dedicated a whole page to some items (like see all the California missions and all the California lighthouses) so the goal is at the top and all the items needed to achieve the goal are listed under to be crossed off as I go to them. (A note about the missions…ask for a mission passport in the gift shop at the first one you go to and get the stamps at all the missions as you visit. I went to 4 before I found out about this)

You may wonder what all that has to do with the Grand Canyon…well it has been on my bucket list since I started my bucket list. Then when I went to Vegas for my 21st birthday I saw a brochure for helicopter flights to the Grand Canyon where you actually land inside the canyon, have a picnic then fly out over the Vegas strip at night. OMG I was in LOVE with the idea but that price…ouch. It went on the bucket list where it sat for 26 years.

You read that right…26 years. In May 2022 I finally achieved that goal and it was every bit as amazing as I thought it would be. Flying in over the desert, dropping into the Grand Canyon and flying through below the rim so you can see all the little slot canyons that branch off to the sides… it was every bit as amazing as I dreamed and totally worth waiting 26 years to do rather than just giving up because the price was too high.

The point is no matter what the dream is you can achieve it. It just takes planning and determination. No one needs to know you are working on it. Even if you just put $1 a week into an envelope to save up for something special you will eventually get there. Make a list. Make a plan. Achieve your dreams. Time will go on if you achieve your dreams or not so you may as well be amazing!!

My hubby and I posing for a photo on our anniversary in the Grand Canyon.

Aging and New Beginnings

Recently I seem to be having a lot of conversations with my friends about the future. It seems as if many people are unsure about what to do with the rest of their lives and are rethinking things post-pandemic. Some are looking at changing their jobs, moving somewhere new, going back to school, and starting or ending relationships. We are not talking about small changes, but large ones. Has the pandemic shown us life is too short to not be happy? Are we under more pressure than usual? Or are people just more open to other options and more willing to make changes?

Honestly, it is hard to know. People have always made changes, but it seems like there are more people making big changes than there was pre-pandemic. I get it. Looking at my own life I would love to just uproot and move somewhere else. Living in California, I am so tired of the homeless encampments everywhere, the fires, the horrible road conditions, the poor schools, high cost of living and so many other things that a move to somewhere else sounds like a dream. I also know that I have less than a decade to my house being paid off. I love the beaches, mountains and beauty of the nature areas of this state. I love the availability and variety of fresh produce and the cultural diversity of the area. My job is also here…Although if I get a good enough offer I will be out of that door so fast… So I get the job changes too.

The long term staffing shortages have gotten REALLY old and there is no end in site either. People are now refusing to volunteer for overtime anymore. Management is just accepting it right now…But, I can see the mandatory overtime coming soon again, probably by April. I am not looking forward to that day. The last few times the mandatory period lasted at least 6 months but it seems to run for about 9 months with the holidays free of mandatory overtime in November, December and January. In a dream world, If I can find a job with similar pay and benefits I would leave. If I get offered a job where I can have flexible hours and work remotely I would even be willing to take less money and less time off.

I can see why people are wondering “Where do I go from here?” I can see why they are looking at all areas of their lives and making changes. I have had time to think about my life in the closures and the time after and there are changes I want to make as well even though I am happy overall. Even I can see where there is room for improvement.

To all those pondering a change… I wish you luck and happiness.

Reno

I recently turned 48. I am trying hard to believe that I am no longer young and I am staring down 50 that is approaching faster and faster every day. I have had a rough relationship with celebrating birthdays because for the most part it depends on others and I prefer to be selfish on my birthday and just relax or go somewhere amazing and have a one in a lifetime experience. No one ever actually listens. That changed this year.

Several months ago my husband said “lets get away for your birthday this year” Now I am picturing lounging on a beach somewhere with a tropical drink with a little umbrella in it. He says he will plan everything. It will be amazing. I am a bit worried about this because I am the traveler. I am the planner. It is my thing. He is so excited that I agree to leave it all to him. Then he tells me we are going to Reno, NV.

Reno.

Dirty old Reno.

I hate Reno. I’m a beach person not a desert person and I don’t like the smell of cigarette smoke or gambling. What is he thinking? He is so excited (like a kid on Christmas morning) so I plaster a smile on my face and ask him if he is sure and what he has in mind. Then he tells me that he was watching YouTube videos about the best day spas in the united states and the Peppermill in Reno has one of the top 10 so we should check it out.

Ok, Reno is sounding better now. But, when I was last there in the 1990’s it was not exactly a nice place to go. It lacked the dazzle of Vegas or the natural splendor of Tahoe. I ask him how old this video was that he watched. So he pulls it up. It is recent. Then he pulls up a video of the Peppermill and it is reminiscent of the Belagio or the Venician resorts in Vegas. I am intrigued, but still not excited because, well… it’s still Reno.

A few months go by and he has made all the arrangements. We have childcare covered for the time we are out of town. He made reservations at an Italian restaurant and a steakhouse for our two nights there. We are spending all day in the spa relaxing on my actual birthday getting pampered and relaxing. I’m still skeptical and he is still super excited.

The day finally arrives for us to depart. We load up the car and head out…to Reno. I’m expecting to see beautiful fall color, but no one told the trees. We get to the peppermill and it is busier than I expected to see on a weekday. They are hosting an educational conference for veterinarians. It actually was nice inside. It was super clean. The staff was friendly. Our room was amazing. The food was great. If they were short staffed, it sure didn’t show at all. That was something we have not seen here in California for years. The weather was even perfect. He did an amazing job.

I guess it is time for me to let go, stop being such a control freak and trust that the man I have been married to for 11 years actually knows me pretty well and is capable of planning a trip for us that I will enjoy. Maybe I don’t always have to “do it all”. Maybe I can let go a little and relax and know that everything will be ok.

I know that sounds a little odd. But, I have spent most of my adult life only being able to rely on myself through my first marriage to an alcoholic who cared more about his TV programs and his next drink than me and in my single years. Relying on anyone else almost always led to me being let down and me scrambling at the last minute trying to do it all myself. I forgot what it was like to be able to just let go and know things will be ok. I’m slowly learning to let go and accept that others are capable of doing things too. I do not have to always carry the burden. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks.

New Year – New you – 2023

I have not made any secrets that 2021 was rough on me, particularly all the overtime. Everything kinda fell apart as I struggled with 60+ hour weeks. That ended up with me off work on stress leave and struggling to get my life under control.

The year ended with packed schedules triple booked to try to get patients seen before I’m off work for a couple months for carpal tunnel surgery. We knew it was going to be hard on my co worker and myself but it was best to do what we could…then she got covid. I then had a completely unrealistic schedule and now I have to cover her as well. Let’s just say it was tough.

In light of the hideous work schedules, stress and my overall health I decided to make 2022 the year of me! No more putting myself last. I started off my year by finally having my carpal tunnel taken care of. Then planned on using my time off to reset my life and get back on track. Well, it kinda went off track pretty quickly. Now There were some great times, but there was a lot of really bad too.

2022 was a mixed bag, good with the bad. One of my best friends died suddenly in February. It was awful and heartbreaking to take her off life support but I was thankful that I was off work recovering from my carpal tunnel surgery so I was able to be there her last days and as she passed. I was also able to help sort through her things with her brother and boyfriend and be there when we laid her ashes to rest in one of her favorite places in the world. Should I have been at work getting off work for that would have been difficult with how short handed we are.

That was followed by me having a severe reaction to my mandatory covid booster. I am a big believer in vaccines and they do save lives. but I am against mandatory vaccinations. I believe that health decisions should be up to an individual and their MD. This was my view since before the first mandates. I voluntarily got my first 2 covid vaccines and I reacted to the first one and worse to the second one. I had no intentions of getting a booster due to how bad i felt after the 2nd shot. But I work in healthcare and our governor feels that everyone who works in healthcare must get a mandatory booster too or loose their jobs. No one else in the state needs to even be vaccinated and it is even optional for state employees but if you work in healthcare it is mandatory, not by our employers (who just recommended it, but it was not mandatory) but by the state that mandated it. Well, I reacted and even worse than my first two shots. To the point that I am lucky to be alive now. Near death or death is the only way to qualify for an exemption (my reaction to shot 2 was bad, but not bad enough to qualify for the exemption under the mandate) so I now am exempt for any further mandatory vaccine because if I get one again it will probably kill me. So yippie for not dying.

To take the good with the bad, It was actually fortunate that I was off work with my carpal tunnel surgery so I had time to get my health under control for the most part before returning to work. Was not at 100% but at least I was at probably 80% by the time I went back to work. Without that time off it would have been near impossible to fir in all the testing and appointments I had at the beginning to figure out just how extensive the problems were and get them under control. I had appointments almost every day for a few weeks, sometimes I had multiple appointments in a day. By the time I got back to work I only had appointments about once a week. Now I am doing much better and only have appointments every couple months and lab work. No one knows if I have to worry about future flare ups or other complications or anything because the vaccine is so new. But hey, I am still here.

Now 2022 was not all doom and gloom. I did have some good points. I had a couple road trips with some friends. I reconnected with an old friend that moved away a few years ago. I also checked off a bucket list item that has sat on that list for 26 years. It was just as amazing as I dreamed it would be.

So where does that leave me for 2023?

In 2023 I am again trying to focus on my health…again. I will be working on getting in shape and managing my stress. I will also be checking another item off my bucket list and finally seeing the Northern Lights in February. I was suppose to go in February of 2021, but it got bumped to 2022 then 2023 because of Covid. I was starting to feel like it may never actually happen. But I am very excited that it looks like it is actually going to happen in 2023!

My husband and I had a talk just before New Years about our goals and wishes for the upcoming years. I am excited for the plans we have made. We are both looking forward to a healthy, rewarding 2023 and an even better 2024.

From our home to yours… Happy new year everyone! May 2023 be the best one yet!

It came up too fast and now it’s over…

Well, that time is here and gone. I was planning on a slim, sexy body for my brothers wedding and while I failed at that, I am about 35 lbs lighter than when I started and still looked better than if I was 35 lbs heavier. As an added bonus all the running around and dancing left me 4 lbs lighter after the 4 day weekend.

I’m not stopping here. I am still determined to get back into shape. The pandemic may have thrown me a curve ball but I’m slowly working on it. One this this weekend has shown me is that my day job, commute and lack of movement on weekdays is really what is stopping me from being fit and fabulous.

I need to figure out how to add exercise to my weekdays sans-gym. Even moderately active will be an improvement on my 3000 steps a day I get chained to my computer. I need to figure out something to get moving to reach my goal of being fabulously fit at 50. (I have 36 months to make this happen, but I’m aiming for 24 or less so I have it off for a year before my 50th)

It is said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a first step. Tomorrow I’m taking that first step and going back to my mosquito, wild animal walks around the park and back in the mornings. I have insect repellent and pepper spray. So as long as I don’t spook a skunk or come face to face with the bobcat or mountain lion that occasionally wander our neighborhood I should be good. (I have only seen the bobcat. But my friend a couple streets over has seen the mountain lion ahhh the joys of living close to nature)

36 months to 50…

I got this!

My weight loss journey-the hubby joins me

Things are returning to “normal” in our house. The kids are back in school and my coworker is trying to buy her 1st home and actually wants to work ALL of the overtime until she is settled and I am happy to let her! With this weeks overtime behind me and no more in the future I’m feeling human again.

With my husband on board with the weight loss it is making my life easier with less temptation. Our new fridge was delivered a week ago (the old one finally died.) so we are stocking back up on healthy food and cooking at home. It was rough going for the few weeks between “fridge isn’t working” and “new one is here” but we survived.

My hurdle now is exercise. With masking back at the gym it’s a no-go. I can’t do cardio in a mask. I already wheeze like crazy without the mask adding to my struggle. I was full on ready to get back to my walking around the park and back then the fires started and now the air quality is “chunky” with a mist of ash falling constantly. I’m pretty sure the smoke and ash are not good for my lungs. My current plan is to skip cardio and work on my core and stretching until masking at the gym goes away or the air is breathable outside again.

Halfway through august and I’m down 3 lbs so far. At least it’s going in the right direction.

When pulling an all nighter is not what it use to be

I love my creative side. Sometimes my creative side and my type-A personality obsessive planner side get together a couple times a month when I have scheduled photography days out to create new content for my photography business. I never really thought of this as a thing until I did an internet quiz to find what type of photographer I should be. It was spot on. Just incase it was generic BS I read the other types. They were so not me at all. I hate admitting it, but the internet quiz was right.

I plan my days out. I scout for a place with a purpose in mind. I choose particular times of year or times of the day. I actually have a notebook with brainstorm ideas of locations/subjects with notes. I have folders with information, books I have read in research, and links saved in folders on my laptop. It’s what I do.

If things don’t work out as I planned to get the shots I want I’ll regroup and try again until I get it. I brave bad weather, long travel days, early mornings and late nights. I get insect bites, bee stings, sunburns, scratches, scrapes and sprains. To most people it seems insane. But when I get that perfect shot…I know it was all worth it.

I’m not a photoshop photographer. I believe in taking the shot not faking the shot. I’ll crop, change the tone and adjust the color to brighten or soften the shot. But it’s always the same shot. I think people do amazing things in photoshop, but it just isn’t for me. I think it’s because I learned on film and back then we didn’t have the option to take a crappy shot and fix it later. You had to take a good shot to begin with.

Either way, everyone needs an outlet. It may be sports, binging tv, gardening, woodworking, cooking or something entirely different. Especially now as we creep our way out of the pandemic. If you have not found your peace keep trying new things. You never know when something will stick.

Traveling Again!

That’s right. The time has come and Working Mom, Travel Dreams is traveling again! I’m traveling with my husband to Mexico for our 10th wedding anniversary. Our plan was to enjoy a week in the UK but with the travel restrictions that was not possible. So we regrouped, switched gears and now we are off to Cabo San Lucas. We are leaving the kids at home for our first kid free vacation together in 9 years. our last vacation together was our 1st wedding anniversary where I was big and pregnant and we had to book our travel to make sure we made it back before my “unable to travel internationally” date 2 days later. Yeah, there’s nothing like cutting it close. Traveling while that pregnant was not easy.

I have been to Cabo oodles of times since it’s a quick getaway from California. You can usually find long weekend package deals for $500 or less pretty easy so it’s the alternative to Vegas for many of us Californians who are not into gambling but still want to enjoy some fun in the sun. With all the restrictions in California I find people are flocking to Mexico just to get away from it all and enjoy a little bit of freedom again. I have 1 coworker and a friend who are in Cabo right now and know several people that have gone in the last month.

The airports are pretty empty still. They only had one shuttle running at SFO and the long term parking was maybe 1/4 full. It’s really different than my last trip where SFO was packed in Sept 2019. The flights were sure full despite the empty parking. Snacks and beverages were distributed a little different with everyone getting a small snack bag. I actually preferred it that way for this short flight but a bagged lunch meal for dinner could be annoying on a longer international flight.

At the resort nearly everyone we met was vaccinated. The ones who were not vaccinated had covid around the holidays and it’s still too soon for them to get vaccinated. Pretty much everyone hated the masking and wore them as little as possible. There was a lot of annoyance on things like the rule that you have to wear a mask while walking around the resort…except in the pool area. So I don’t have to wear a mask in the pool area but if I go to the snack bar, bathroom or non-swim up bar I need a mask. Swim up bar no mask. Someone brings my drink to me at the table, no mask. I take 5 steps to the bar to get a drink, I need a mask. (FYI all the bars are outdoors).

We followed the rules, no matter how crazy. It was still a lot less restrictive than California and it was FANTASTIC to see people’s faces and socialize. We got our covid tests to return home and they were negative. Even though we were fully vaccinated AND had negative covid tests our kids therapy sessions were canceled for 2 weeks when we returned because we left the country. If we stayed in the country it would have been fine. California paranoia at its best here. CDC says vaccinated people can live normal lives. But here in California we are still on house arrest and shamed for attempting normal.

Busy lives and full calendars

I remember the days when I had oodles of stuff going on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still busy it’s just a different kind of busy now. Now my calendar lacks the social engagements and is full of zoom meetings and project deadlines. Ah how I miss the days of social gatherings. Hopefully that will change soon.

Recently I was talking to it co workers and it turns out that several of us have been shopping online buying outfits for future outings when we open back up. It’s hard living in the most restricted state in the United States. The state is divided between “open up and ditch the masks” and “everyone stay home and wear 3 masks, face shields, gloves and socially distance even when vaccinated”. It’s pretty crazy. I fall into the category of open up and ditch the mask mandate. Let people make their own decisions based on their comfort level.

I believe we should have the freedom to make our own decisions as adults. For example… Sunday I picked up my wine club shipments at two wineries. We have friends who are also members at the same wineries so we planned a day to pick up our wine together. All 5 of us are fully vaccinated and past our 2 week window. Tastings are outdoors. The CDC says fully vaccinated can be free. We felt 100% comfortable with this forbidden outing. Sharing our picnic, drinking wine, laughing and acting human socializing as adults. The shaming we got from the two group photos of us that were posted on Facebook was appalling. Why is this happening? Why are we expected to be hermits?

95% effective means you have a 5% chance of getting covid. Also, there were zero serious cases among the vaccinated. Yet California is still the most restricted state. That is all going to end in June 15th when our state opens back up. Personally, I can’t wait to see smiling faces and interact with humans again.

Self help and exercise

On my morning walks I have started listening to self improvement books. I feel that way I can work on my body and my mind at the same time. Pretty efficient huh. Yeah, I thought so too. My current book (The Creative’s Curse by Todd Brison) inspired this post.

If you have been reading my blog for a while now you know I think of myself as just a mom. I’m a regular person. I’m not rich or famous or glamorous. I work hard and try to make the most out of my life. I didn’t have any special privileges growing up. In fact I grew up in a poor neighborhood and went to the “bad” schools. I have had to work hard for everything I have.

I’m also old…well when it comes to blogging, social media, websites and technology I’m a dinosaur. I have no clue what I’m doing and find myself googling terminology because I don’t know what people are talking about. Because of this, through listening to the books and doing webinars I have learned that I’m accidentally doing things right. My website is “branded” not because I had a clue what that was before I took the class but because I thought it looked better. I post a new photo on my Instagram every day. Not because I’m trying to raise my engagement and grow my audience but because I take a lot of photos and it drives me crazy when half my social media feed is all from the same person so I post one photo a day. I try to post one blog post a week. Also not for engagement but because it forces me to write something once a week. When I’m busy with large photography projects or home life I don’t work on my book. The blog keeps me writing.

You may wonder what any of that has to do with anything, well frankly I have no idea what I’m doing. All this stuff is where youngsters excel. I have found myself talking social media with these whipper-snappers as they try to explain to me how social media works like I’m 105. I had one youngster try to explain it to me using her Instagram as she carefully crafted a post for her 800 loyal fans. Saying how she has so many followers he should teach a class for people like me. After she made her post she wanted me to make one so she could help me. So I pull out my phone and start to craft a post for my 7,000+ fans. She looked at how many followers I had and asked me who’s account that was. I said mine.

In the book I’m listening to he is talking about his social media following (it’s lower than mine). In my last book by a different author he talks about his success and what strategies got him there. He also has less than I do. So the question on my mind is how can people who have not achieved the level I’m at teach me to do better? I’m already doing better than they are. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m apparently doing it right. I just post stuff I like at a frequency that doesn’t overwhelm or annoy me.

I’m not delusional. My ego is not inflated. I understand I’m just a mom. I work a full time job. Play with my kids. Do laundry. I have a photography business. It in no way replaces the income from my day job that supports us. I have this blog that I write to get things out there and force me to stay writing. (I started this blog after reading Single Wide Female) I honestly did not think anyone would ever read it. When I got my first follower I called my friend because surely it was a fluke. I’m still shocked when I get new a new follower every few days. I appreciate you guys. You keep me going.

So here I am. Just a mom. Walking at the crack of cock a doodle dark to try to loose weight because she does not have any other time to exercise. Listening to audiobooks because it’s the only way things get done is multitasking. While keeping up with the kids, my job and my side hustle photography business…and a few writing and charity projects tossed in the mix for fun. And I wonder why I’m so tired…