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Where to begin…

This is the post excerpt.

I use to be fabulous. 

Seriously, everyone has that one friend where amazing things just happen when they are around. I’m that person. My life is filled with “What are the chances of that?”.  I have been told I should write a book. I never knew that was not normal. To me it is just my life. It has always been like that. I don’t know any different. 

Then I got married (for the 2nd time) later in life and had a couple kids. One day I stepped out of the shower, looked at myself in the mirror and wondered what happened? That was not my body. Who was this exhausted woman looking back at me? What happened to the adventurous woman who lived life to the fullest? 


I only have 5 weeks left paying Manimony. My youngest is in pre-school and my oldest starting kindergarten tomorrow.  I dusted off my passport several months ago and took my first trip in years to meet up with a friend for New Years. My 2nd trip is coming up in a month. I feel like I can finally start to breathe again. It is time to find myself again.

This is my journey back to that woman. The struggle to be true to yourself while working full time and being a wife and a mother. My re-discovery. 

Welcome 2024!

I am actually fairly happy to see 2023 behind me. It was a hard year, granted I have had worse. 2023 was tough because of how much overtime I worked. I felt as if it stole my life away. I was working 10-12 hours a day Monday-Friday and another 8-10 on Saturday… I did this for 5 months straight. I was completely exhausted at the end in mid-October and didn’t start to feel human again until around Thanksgiving.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom. We did fix up some things around the house and booked a nice trip to the UK for our anniversary in 2024 with the overtime. Pretty much every time I got paid I’d look at how much I made in OT and book another part of the trip so everything is paid in full except food, drink and our train tickets that I can only book 2 months out. It was nice to have something to look forward to while working so much.

With all that extra work some things slipped. I am back on track working on my mental and physical health. I even joined a stress management program. I feel like I lost out on a lot of family time so I have also booked some fun stuff to do with the kids in 2024 as well as an epic solo trip for my 50th birthday in the fall.

I am choosing to be positive as I enter 2024. I have a lot to look forward to as I spend more time with friends and family but I am especially excited about the travel. From the short overnight and day trips with the kids, to taking my husband to the UK for our anniversary (a trip he is very excited about and it will be the farthest he has ever been from home) to my epic birthday trip to see Nepal and Tibet where I will trek to Everest base camp, enjoy a helicopter ride to Annapurna base camp and end with a safari in the Chitwan National Park in Nepal.

Yes, 2024 will be an exciting year.

Bucket List Adventures

As most of you know I am BIG into making a bucket list and ticking off items on it as you can. I have done “this”bucket lists” since before “bucket lists” were a thing. My first one was just a list of things I wanted to do by the end of the summer back when I was in high school. It was awesome! I had my list and crossed items off as I went along. Beach-Check, Lake-Check, White water rafting-Check… You get the idea. By the end of the summer I had checked off everything on my list and had an amazing summer while many of my friends just hung out and didn;t do anything. I learned then that making a list and checking things off makes your life much more interesting.

Needless to say, I was an ambitious teenager. I had goals and dreams. In the decades since I was a teenager not much has changed. I am still ambitious and I still have goals and dreams. I set annual goals every year around my birthday for things I want to accomplish or changes I want to make in the next year. Think of it like a New Year’s resolution, but with more finesse. Then on the big birthdays (the ones that end in 0 or 5) I set 5 year goals and on the 0’s I set 10 year goals. I started this way back in high school and it has served me well.

People always tell me “you are so lucky you (fill in the blank)”. Luck has nothing to do with it. I make a list. I pick a goal. I make a plan and I follow through. My life is different from others because I am willing to make changes they are not willing to make to achieve their goals. I am willing to put in the work. I am willing to make the changes. I am also willing to edit my goal or plan if it is not working and not just give up on everything. I make my own “luck”.

When it comes to travel it all comes down to time and money. I save up both.

Some trips take longer to save up for than others. I hoard my time off. Many of my co-workers take random time off here and there just to get a break and never seem to have enough time off on the books to actually take a vacation longer than a long weekend. I let my time off build up until I get close to maxing out, granted that has only happened once. I prefer to save up my time off and do something amazing rather than just sit around the house in my PJ’s watching TV.

Other trips cost more than others. I save up for those too. Even when I was living paycheck to paycheck I would still find a way to stash away a little bit to save up for a trip. The biggest changes I made to save money are 1. I make my coffee at home rather than picking it up on the way to work (savings at least $5/day or $25/week or $100/month) 2. I eat at home rather than eating out and pack my lunch for work. We will go out occasionally, but never more than once a week. It is not only healthier, but easier on your wallet. and 3. I don’t have cable or satalite TV and have not had it since 2005. Honestly, watching TV is a huge waste of time. If I want to watch something I get it on Amazon or Netflix. Even if you buy 4 movies a month at $20 each it is still cheaper than cable and Netflix is less than $20 a month. I rarely buy movies.

It is all about looking to see what changes you can make to save money. I buy staples like pasta when on sale and buy produce that is in season. I grow my own herbs to cook with and have fruit trees and grapevines (table grapes) in my yard. Not everyone has a yard to grow a bunch of fruit trees, but there are still things you can do. I barter and trade with friends to save money on things. I may trade fruit for veggies (a deal I have with a neighbor to get zucchini and tomatoes for my peaches, plums and lemons) or trade my sewing skills for something they do well. I also buy used when possible. Not only is it better for the enviroment, but it is easier on the wallet. Maybe your contractor neighbor needs your computer skills to fix their computer in exchange for putting up some shelves… You get the idea.

While it might be hard to drag yourself in to work when the weather is beautiful outside and it may be a pain to make your morning coffee instead of stopping at starbucks in the end it will be worth it. After all that $100 a month in coffee savings is $1200 at the end of the year and that is only coffee! Imagine if you packed a lunch instead of going out for another $10-$20 a day…

That is how I made my 1st trip abroad work. I saved. I researched. I planned. Then I went. I wasn’t lucky. I set a goal, made a plan and followed through.

Make your list.

Make your plan.

Make it happen!

Living with Diabetes

It is my second holiday season as a diabetic. As I enter into it I’m still pretty bitter about being mandated to get the covid booster that almost killed me and every time I stick myself I’m reminded of this fact. I’m trying NOT to be bitter and move on but it is difficult as the holidays approach and I’m constantly checking my sugars to make sure I didn’t go overboard with all the fatty, carb filled bits of deliciousness that make the holidays so decadent.

The holidays start in October in my family. The month starts with my Mom’s birthday, Followed by mine the next week and my dad’s the week after that and Halloween to end the month. Then as you run out of Halloween candy my Sister’s birthday hits followed by Thanksgiving and on to my husbands birthday and all the holiday parties until New Years finally hits and we can all come down from our 3 months of indulgence.

So far I’m managing pretty well. I managed to get off insulin. It is hard to tell if it is just because the inflammation went down or because my diet is different with me watching my sugar and carb intake. Year 2 is proving to be harder than year 1 to stay on track. For starters, I feel better with the inflammation from my covid shot gone. It was easy to avoid the “bad” food when you honestly felt like death may be taking you at any moment and everything hurt. When you feel great it is all to easy to say “Yes” to both cake and ice cream rather than just a small taste of one or refusing it all together.

My other challenge is I got braces for the first time in my life. I just got the bottom ones on back in march but just got the top ones on in August. Now things are harder to eat. So what is easy to eat? All the soft, processed foods that I am suppose to be avoiding. What should I be eating? The protein that gets stuck in my braces and is hard to bite through and chew. I miss my snacks of mixed nuts.

It is an adjustment. So far I have only knocked off 2 brackets trying to eat. I swear the next time I go in and they take the wire off I am going to floss. I never thought I would miss flossing my teeth but I do.

I miss popcorn. I love popcorn.

Ok, enough about food. I still need to get back into exercising. It is a constant struggle. For decades getting up early to go to the gym was not a problem for me at all…but I have struggled with getting back to it since the pandemic threw me off my game. My new plan is if I can’t manage to get a full workout in I will break it up into sections. So I currently take a 15-20 min walk before work. I will be adding in a 2nd walk when I get home from work too starting November 6th…Rain or shine. If I get all wet, oh well. I’ll change into something warm and dry when I get home.

It isn’t much but it is a plan. We will need to see how it is going 3 months from now.

Changing of seasons

I don’t know what it is about the change from summer to fall that is so satisfying. I don’t seem to be as moved by any of the other season changes but that first crisp evening and cool morning I just want to pull out a cozy blanket and curl up on the couch with a good book and hot drink. Today was that day but instead of being cozy on the couch I am at work.

I work in the center of the building, in a dark room with no windows. This first cold day not only starts the beginning of my favorite season (ok, truth be told, its mostly the harvest parties and fall flavors) but that the hardest part of the year is coming as well…Winter. Winter is when I come into work and it is dark. I go home and its dark and I also work in the dark. I go months without seeing the sun. It is really hard on me so I search out positive things to keep myself going.

For the transition from winter to spring while I love all the flowers and how green everything is my allergies hate it. The constant sneezing and itchy eyes kinda ruin the season for me. I still try to enjoy the sunshine and the wildflowers as much as I can.

Summer use to be my favorite season growing up. School was out and I just went to the pool every day and swam and hung out with my friends. As I got older that moved to hanging out at the lake or beach and into white water rafting, surfing and other summer water sports. Summer was all about fun. Summer is not fun as an adult. Summer is hot. Summer is full of working. In summer we are short staffed because so many people take off for vacation so you are always working extra if you are not on vacation. If you do go on vacation you work extra before you go and when you get back so it really isn’t worth it to take time off because you end up making it up and then some anyway. Even if you decide to do something like take the kids to the beach you still have to load up the car, unpack and haul everything when you get there then when you are done you have to load it all back up again only to have to unload and clean everything when you get home…all in the heat. Summer is too much work…and it’s hot.

Summer and I are no longer friends.

I miss the long lazy days of summer I had growing up before I became a responsible adult. If all I had to do was lounge poolside and work on my tan while reading a book for 3 months It would probably still be my favorite season. If I was only responsible for myself and not two kids as well the beach would involve less stuff and would be much more relaxing rather than breaking up fights between siblings.

That leads us to fall. Nice weather. Not too hot. Not too cold. Lots of harvest parties to go to. No allergies. Fall is my new favorite.

Unsolicited “Advice”

Unfortunately, there are too many people out there who follow the crowd mindlessly. They do not want to rock the boat. They do not want anyone to think less of them without taking a moment to ask themselves if this person who’s opinion they are listening to is worth actually listening to. Is this person someone they respect? Is this person an expert in the field they are giving your advice on? Most of the time they are not.

When someone starts to criticize you, take a minute and ask yourself if they have a life you want? If you are trying to get in shape you probably do not want to take health advice from a couch potato. If you are trying to build wealth, you probably should not take the advice of someone who is up to their eyeballs in debt. Those are pretty obvious. What about people who have never traveled or only been to one place and we want to travel widely, why would we listen to their advice? But when it comes to social issues why don’t we ask ourselves if this person has a life we want before listening to what they have to say?

It took me a LONG time to get to the point that I am comfortable telling the negative people, thanks, but no thanks. It isn’t for me. I am completely comfortable doing my own thing and ignoring the opinions of non-experts. I often chuckle at people who have never traveled giving me travel advice. I have been to more countries than I can count on 5 continents but people who have never had a passport or have only used it once often like to tell me what I must or must not do in regards to travel. In one case the person giving me advice has never traveled farther than a 3 hour drive away from the city they were born in. Yeah, thank you for your opinion, I’m all good here.

I honestly feel that most of the time the people giving you the “advice” are speaking as if they were speaking about or two themselves. For example; if you are planning a trip to Europe and you are all excited about it then speak to someone who has nothing but negative things to say, you may start to doubt yourself and it takes a bit of the sparkle away from your excitement.

It isn’t safe.

It’s too expensive.

You can’t go there alone.

Why would you ever want to do that when you can see anything you want on YouTube?

It goes on and on. It is the same for anything. You want to run a marathon…You can’t do that. It’s too far. What if you get hurt? How are you going to fit in the time to do that? You want to get in shape… Aren’t you tired from getting up early/staying up late to exercise? Don’t you miss food? There is no way you can keep that up through the holidays. You decide to go back to school… Don’t you think you are a little old for that? Why are you bothering to go back to school and waste all that time and money?

We all start our with a little doubt anything we try anything new and hearing all the negative questions/comments can make us doubt ourselves and put off our own goals and dreams. Bottom line, those who said the negative things are probably jealous of you and your courage to try something new. They don’t have it in them to do it so they don’t want you doing it either. After all, Who is going to watch the game with them and eat chicken wings, pizza and beer on the weekends if you are studying or getting in shape? What if you take that education and get new friends who are also well educated and leave your old friends behind? What if you make new, healthy friends and start hiking and kayaking on the weekends rather than sitting in front of the TV?

It is hard to be the one left behind as you watch others do amazing things. Seeing someone loose a bunch of weight and look amazing while you are straining to put on your shoes because your belly is in the way is hard. No one wants to be left behind so it is easier to sew the seeds of doubt in others.

Ignore the negativity and do AMAZING things anyway.

Office supplies

Ok, you may be thinking that I’m going to talk about people stealing them or a general lack in supply or quality but that isn’t it. I’m here to talk about how much I love them.

I’m getting older so that may have something to do with my obsession but there is just something about putting pen to paper that makes things more real than the same thing in an electronic version. There is something satisfying about crossing off something on your “to do” list. My paper planner never glitches, runs out of battery, puts things on the wrong day or deletes things.

I start to get all giddy with excitement every time it nears the start of the school year with the isles of notebooks, pens, pencils, markers and all the other school supplies. My husband does not understand my passion for hand written thank you notes, paper invitations and Christmas cards…but I LOVE them!

Every year when back to school time nears I wander the isles of office supplies in wonder of new pens, colorful notebooks and wonderful markers and hi-lighters. I immediately turn into a 12 year old girl gathering up pink glitter notebooks, packs of colored pens and anything else that catches my eye. Keeping in mind that I am closer to 50 than 10 years old this may lead people to think that I am shopping for my grand-kids or charity but it is all for me.

If planning my weekends in a pink glitter notebook brings me joy, why not? Who says I need to become boring with age. If I want to write in my planner with several brightly colored pens to make different events easier to spot…who does it hurt? If I put stickers with inspirational sayings on each two page spread to start my week on a positive note, what is the harm? Why do other adults feel the need to act as such things are childish and should be avoided? I’m not forcing them to do it.

As it turns out these critical adults usually live lives I would not want at all. They lack imagination and are dull and lack goals and dreams. Most of them are struggling living paycheck to paycheck. They do not go anywhere or do anything. They just work, then go home and watch TV. They do not travel. They do not plan for the future. They do not have lives I would want at all. So why would I EVER listen to these people?

Simple answer… I don’t.

Do what brings you JOY.

Work-Life Balance

My co worker has been off work since May and will be off until October-ish. I have noticed a direct correlation between my weight, energy level and number of hours worked. I have noticed the higher my workload the lower my energy level is for anything outside work. The more number of hours a week I work, the higher my weight goes. I honestly do not know how to combat that.

I’ll use this week as an example… I am working six 10+ hour days. I have about an hour commute each way. I leave for work between 6-6:15 AM and get home from work between 6-7 PM. I am exhausted by the time I get home and could seriously fall asleep on the couch if the kids would not jump on me. But a mother’s work is never done. I start the bedtime routine when I get home. The kids go to bed at 8 and I head upstairs to get ready for bed myself between 9-10 PM and get up by 5 AM to start it all over the next day.

I completely lack balance. I miss my 7:30-4PM shift only 5 days a week. I miss having the energy to exercise in the mornings before work and still have time and energy to do something after work. A two day weekend seems like such a luxury and distant memory now.

My long time readers know that I do not really do New Years Resolutions but instead make changes and set goals around my birthday. Smaller goals for most birthdays that I can accomplish by my next birthday and larger 5+ year goals on the birthdays that end in a 5 or a 0. With my birthday approaching roughly the same time my coworker should be returning to work I feel it is the perfect time for a reset of my life…again.

Now this happens off and on where things get so out of whack that I need to make radical changes to get back on track. It isn’t as if I just decide one day to chuck all my goals and live a life that does not bring me peace. It happens slowly. I started getting off track with the pandemic with the lack of gym access and my beloved Yoga studio by the waterfront closing. The staffing shortages and overtime just made things worse. My stress levels and weight were rising and my general health was just not there. Then I was hit with a big blow to my health with my reaction to my Covid shot. I am so happy to have survived the reaction but years later I am still dealing with the complications from it. Complications that no one can tell me what to expect in the future. No idea if they will be lifelong problems or if they will go away.

So I have 2 months to soul search, evaluate all aspects of my life and figure out what changes I want to make. I will then come up with a plan and set short term goals. I already know a couple changes I am going to make. I have a couple others that I am on the fence about changing or not because they have both positive and negative points. Maybe they just need a bit of a tweak. I have other things that I am happy with, but could be better. I also have a long list of things I want to do and places I want to go.

I need a plan.

All work and no play…

This has been my life since May. All work and no play. My coworker had surgery on her foot and will be off for 4 months leaving me all alone. So my regular 7:30-4pm shift 5 days a week has turned into a 7:30-6pm shift 5 days a week with an additional 7:30-5 shift once a month.

Yeah, I’m tired.

But there is a light at the end of this dismal tunnel. I took all that overtime and just booked myself a nice trip to celebrate my 50th birthday next year. I’m going to Nepal and China and trekking to Everest Base Camp! I added on a 3 day safari in Chitwan National Park in Nepal at the end of my trek to chill out and if I can figure it out I will add on a helicopter trip to Annapurna base camp while I’m “in the area”.

This is what happens when I work too much. I get annoyed. I have extra cash. I book a massive trip so I have something to look forward to.

This will be a solo trip. My husband will be home with our boys while I am off on an adventure. My plan was just to do Everest. But then I saw the safari and really wanted to do that. My husband said why not? It isn’t like you are likely to get back to Nepal. Then I saw the Annapurna helicopter trip and I started drooling thinking of how amazing the Grand Canyon helicopter tour was from Vegas that we did back in May 2022. I kinda just blew a lot of money so I’ll hold off booking it for now but will likely add it on after I get back to Kathmandu from the safari in the next few months.

I’m very pro-bucket list. Everest base camp has been on my list since I was in high school. I think everyone should have a list and slowly work their way through it. Set goals and have something to look forward to and work for.

I didn’t grow up rich. I don’t have a trust fund. I actually grew up in the 2nd worst neighborhood in the area and went to the worst elementary and high schools in the area. I have a public education, not private and I have worked since I was 14 to get where I am today. If I can do it anyone can. You just have to be willing to work at it and not care what others think.

For now I’m super excited! I feel like I can go into my 60+ hour workweek with a more positive outlook knowing I have something amazing in my future.

Quiet quitting / Quiet hiring

With all the burnout from working short staffed for years I have seen some of my co-workers slowly start to “slack off” in response to the constant addition of more responsibilities because there simply is not enough people to do the work. I thought this was just a unique thing for healthcare since we lost so much staff during the pandemic and people are reluctant to work in healthcare now that it has passed. I know pretty much everywhere is hiring, many with signing bonuses and other things to sweeten the pot and attract workers but this is not unique to healthcare. It appears to be happening in ALL industries.

How did this happen? Where did all the workers go? How are people supporting themselves and their families without jobs? Why are people not applying for the open jobs?

I understood at first that some people were afraid to come out from their bubbles and rejoin the world. This left the workforce a bit short staffed with current employees struggling to cover the workload for the open jobs waiting for applicants. Apparently when additional work is assigned without any additional compensation it is called “quiet hiring”. I had never heard of this before. It is definitely a practice that needs to stop. It leads to burnout. Burnout leads to “quiet quitting” where employees still show up but do less and less work. The problem is that then others end up picking up the slack even more leading to even more burn out.

That brings us to where we are today. People are working mandatory overtime that they do not want with those employed working 10-12 hour days 5+ days a week in some cases for weeks without a day off just to cover the workload. No wonder people are burnt out. Vacations and sick calls are not covered just leading to more short staffing issues. *IF* you can actually get approved to take a vacation day. Most places are so short staffed they stopped approving time off due to “staffing issues”. So employees just call in sick… or just don’t show up for work. After all…What are they going to do? Fire you? Ha! They are already so short staffed that they need you even if you call in sick every Friday or just don’t show up for work then post photos of yourself on Facebook enjoying the beach in Cancun living your best life while your co-workers cover your work. (yeah, that just happened at my job in the last month).

So what is the solution? Until the staffing shortages can be fixed employees who show up and work hard should be treated and compensated better. Perhaps instead of forcing overtime on the companies terms let employees volunteer to to the additional work on their terms and possibly do some work from home or offer flexible hours so the work gets done but allows them to have a better balance. Maybe someone is a night owl and would rather work after their kids go to bed or they are an early riser and would rather come in early. Maybe instead of having hiring bonuses there should be retention bonuses and the wages that would have been paid to all the people who would have been working all the open positions should be added up together and divided among the hours worked by current staff so everyone gets a portion based on the numbers of hours they worked. It wouldn’t be much, but it is better than nothing. Even if it just covers that afternoon espresso to make it through the day it is a nice gesture. It should be by department based on the number of open jobs they have. So if your department is currently fully staffed, your employees are not working short and therefore are not eligible for the bonus. But if you are 2 people covering the work of 5 or 30 people covering the work of 34 that bonus will be proportional to the amount of extra work you are having to cover. Those who are covering more work should be compensated more…and that is in addition to the overtime needed to do the job. It may not cause overtime in the case of the 30 people covering the work of 34, but for those 2 people doing the work of 5…that is impossible without at least a little overtime.

So why talk about this? Well, it is something that really hits home for me. In my above example I am one of the 2 doing the work of 5…and my coworker just had surgery and will be off work for 3-4 months. I am now alone. Responsible for the workload of 5 people. We have open jobs with ZERO applicants. One of the jobs has been open for a few years, one has been open for 2 years and another for about a year and they will shortly be adding a 4th open job to cover the workload I am shouldering alone. I can work as much overtime as I want and I am currently working 50-60 hour weeks. I work until I am tired because I am NEVER finished. I come in early and work late every day and if I don’t have any plans I come in on Saturdays too.

I’m exhausted. I’m bitter. I don’t like to talk about work or think about work when I am not at work because it is so miserable. But the first thing most people ask me is “how’s work?” People seem to not understand just how bad the staffing situation is in some places, especially those who are not working or are working remote and not in an office environment. To most people my work situation sounds like a tall tale, but it is in fact very real. The one person who applied for the job was walked over to meet me in the interview and I was behind, breaking a sweat with people coming at me from all sides wanting things. They declined the job. I have requested that the next interview be just before the lunch hour so it is calmer and we don’t scare them away if anyone else applies for any of the open jobs.

Until we are fully staffed, I will just do what I can and hopefully people will understand that I am only one person. I will also fixate on my next vacation about a year from now. Knowing that work will not be my problem for at least 10 days when I return to the UK…This time with my husband for his first trip there.

Reminders

Is it just me or are grown adults unable to keep a calendar now?

I understand I’m a planner. My husband and I have a family calendar linked together on our phones to make sure that we are both on top of everything going on with each other and the kids. Dr appointments, school, events ect are all on this calendar (color coded for who’s event it is of course). This way at a glance we can see what all of us are doing for the day. In addition I have an old paper planner that I use to coordinate all I need to do between work, my photography, projects, volunteer work and other side hustle endeavors I’m working on. I have a lot of spoons in a lot of pots so I need something more than just appointments on the calendar.

This brings me to adults not being able to keep a calendar. Seriously, what is going on with that? I honestly do not need multiple reminders that I have a dentist appointment (currently the booking confirmation, 1 month reminder, 2 week reminder, 1 week reminder, 3 day reminder, 24 hour reminder and I know tomorrow I’ll get yet another reminder within a few hours of my appointment). Seriously, just send me the booking confirmation so I know we are on the same page and I’ll add it to my calendar. I’m a grown adult. I can read. I can keep track of when I need to be somewhere.

Sadly, I feel like I am in the minority now. I have a few friends who like me, keep a calendar and keep track of our schedules. But others just seem to think they are going to just remember everything and are constantly forgetting events, double or multiply booking themselves. Granted, I have one friend who just says “yes” to everything then seems to wait until the day of then only actually shows up to whatever she deems the most worth doing and skips everything else with a lame excuse. After a while we figured out her MO and I just stopped inviting her to things because she is so unreliable.

Anyway, back to all the reminders… is this a chicken and egg situation? Have people started using multiple reminders because people are unable to keep a calendar and just do what they want when they want without any consideration to a schedule (like my above mentioned friend) or did the multiple reminders for things make it so people no longer feel like they need to keep a calendar because the 487 reminders will tell them what they need to do and when.

When did we become people that constantly need to be reminded of everything? Now I’m not saying I never forget anything. Hell, this morning I forgot what I wanted to add to the grocery order between the kitchen and the living room where I left my phone. But my dentist appointment is on my joint calendar with my husband on my phone so he knows what’s going on. It’s in my personal planner so I remember when planning out what I need to do. Since it is mid-day tomorrow it is also on my work calendar so I remember to head over there at the end of lunch. I don’t need a 3rd party to remind me. I got this. I’m a responsible adult.

I know there are other responsible adults out there. I feel the majority of us can claim that title. But as in most things, the few ruin it for the many. I have to deal with multiple reminders (usually email and text. Sometimes email, text and phone call (like the portrait studio I take the kids to). At work I know the computer system sends out multiple reminders. But yet I still get patients who miss their appointments saying they forgot. How do you forget? You got at least 9 reminders probably 11 if you do online check in. Yet I still had my 3pm patient (my last patient of the day) show up at 4:25 on Friday (I’m off at 4pm). I was still there finishing up my last minute phone calls but my co worker saw him. My exam room is right next to my office so I heard him say that he got busy at work but knew as long as he got there before I left at 5 I’d see him. My co worker then told him that I’m off at 4, not 5. This is not an isolated incident. People come in all the time on the wrong day, wrong time, 1+ hours late because they were “busy” at the appointment time but decided to just come in at a time that worked for them fully knowing it was not their appointment. Now if people are early I’ll do all I can to see them early. But if they are more than 30 min late for their 15 min appointment I have already moved on.

Sometimes, it’s a situation where a road is closed and everyone is super late, in that case I take them as they get in but if you are just an irresponsible, inconsiderate jerk that just shows up whenever you want with zero regard for anyone else’s schedule you can rebook. It has become a massive problem not just at my job but everywhere. I see people come in super late for nail appointments or just walk in without an appointment and then walk out because they will need to wait to be fit in and the 10 minute wait is just too long. No one understands how busy they are…Really? 10 minutes is too long? Well, if you can’t wait 10 minutes to be worked in you do not have time for a manicure anyway. I have also been on the other side where I had an appointment, was there on time but had to wait a long time because so many people were late or showed up without an appointment and demanded to be fit in.

Why not just book an appointment and, well actually show up on time for it?

Why not note your appointments and obligations down in a calendar so you do not forget. You can set a reminder on your phone just incase you get busy. I set an alarm on my watch to go off when I need to remember that I have something at a particular time because life happens. We all get busy. But I am a responsible adult. I do not need a babysitter. I wish I could just opt out of all reminders and just get my confirmation and nothing else.