Is it just me or are grown adults unable to keep a calendar now?

I understand I’m a planner. My husband and I have a family calendar linked together on our phones to make sure that we are both on top of everything going on with each other and the kids. Dr appointments, school, events ect are all on this calendar (color coded for who’s event it is of course). This way at a glance we can see what all of us are doing for the day. In addition I have an old paper planner that I use to coordinate all I need to do between work, my photography, projects, volunteer work and other side hustle endeavors I’m working on. I have a lot of spoons in a lot of pots so I need something more than just appointments on the calendar.

This brings me to adults not being able to keep a calendar. Seriously, what is going on with that? I honestly do not need multiple reminders that I have a dentist appointment (currently the booking confirmation, 1 month reminder, 2 week reminder, 1 week reminder, 3 day reminder, 24 hour reminder and I know tomorrow I’ll get yet another reminder within a few hours of my appointment). Seriously, just send me the booking confirmation so I know we are on the same page and I’ll add it to my calendar. I’m a grown adult. I can read. I can keep track of when I need to be somewhere.

Sadly, I feel like I am in the minority now. I have a few friends who like me, keep a calendar and keep track of our schedules. But others just seem to think they are going to just remember everything and are constantly forgetting events, double or multiply booking themselves. Granted, I have one friend who just says “yes” to everything then seems to wait until the day of then only actually shows up to whatever she deems the most worth doing and skips everything else with a lame excuse. After a while we figured out her MO and I just stopped inviting her to things because she is so unreliable.

Anyway, back to all the reminders… is this a chicken and egg situation? Have people started using multiple reminders because people are unable to keep a calendar and just do what they want when they want without any consideration to a schedule (like my above mentioned friend) or did the multiple reminders for things make it so people no longer feel like they need to keep a calendar because the 487 reminders will tell them what they need to do and when.

When did we become people that constantly need to be reminded of everything? Now I’m not saying I never forget anything. Hell, this morning I forgot what I wanted to add to the grocery order between the kitchen and the living room where I left my phone. But my dentist appointment is on my joint calendar with my husband on my phone so he knows what’s going on. It’s in my personal planner so I remember when planning out what I need to do. Since it is mid-day tomorrow it is also on my work calendar so I remember to head over there at the end of lunch. I don’t need a 3rd party to remind me. I got this. I’m a responsible adult.

I know there are other responsible adults out there. I feel the majority of us can claim that title. But as in most things, the few ruin it for the many. I have to deal with multiple reminders (usually email and text. Sometimes email, text and phone call (like the portrait studio I take the kids to). At work I know the computer system sends out multiple reminders. But yet I still get patients who miss their appointments saying they forgot. How do you forget? You got at least 9 reminders probably 11 if you do online check in. Yet I still had my 3pm patient (my last patient of the day) show up at 4:25 on Friday (I’m off at 4pm). I was still there finishing up my last minute phone calls but my co worker saw him. My exam room is right next to my office so I heard him say that he got busy at work but knew as long as he got there before I left at 5 I’d see him. My co worker then told him that I’m off at 4, not 5. This is not an isolated incident. People come in all the time on the wrong day, wrong time, 1+ hours late because they were “busy” at the appointment time but decided to just come in at a time that worked for them fully knowing it was not their appointment. Now if people are early I’ll do all I can to see them early. But if they are more than 30 min late for their 15 min appointment I have already moved on.

Sometimes, it’s a situation where a road is closed and everyone is super late, in that case I take them as they get in but if you are just an irresponsible, inconsiderate jerk that just shows up whenever you want with zero regard for anyone else’s schedule you can rebook. It has become a massive problem not just at my job but everywhere. I see people come in super late for nail appointments or just walk in without an appointment and then walk out because they will need to wait to be fit in and the 10 minute wait is just too long. No one understands how busy they are…Really? 10 minutes is too long? Well, if you can’t wait 10 minutes to be worked in you do not have time for a manicure anyway. I have also been on the other side where I had an appointment, was there on time but had to wait a long time because so many people were late or showed up without an appointment and demanded to be fit in.

Why not just book an appointment and, well actually show up on time for it?

Why not note your appointments and obligations down in a calendar so you do not forget. You can set a reminder on your phone just incase you get busy. I set an alarm on my watch to go off when I need to remember that I have something at a particular time because life happens. We all get busy. But I am a responsible adult. I do not need a babysitter. I wish I could just opt out of all reminders and just get my confirmation and nothing else.