WorkingMomTravelDreams

You have the power to change

After an exhausting work week where we were extremely short staffed my tolerance for whining was pretty low. I was killing time waiting for my laundry to finish up by scrolling through Facebook. Now I don’t spend much time on social media and now I remember why. I scrolled to a post of a beach vacation where the poster was whining about how they work full time and are drowning in debt and can’t afford to pay rent or buy a home… I see the posters profile photo with her lashes, hair and nails all done whining about not being able to afford anything. Immediately I start doing the math in my head lashes…$200/month…hair probably at least $100 a month nails $200 a month. These are at the LOW ends. So this girl is spending at least $500 a month on just her look.

I know people like this. I’m guessing she also is getting Botox and lip fillers too and probably goes to Starbucks every day and goes out for lunch with her designer handbag by her side. Overall, her look and lifestyle are probably costing her $1000-$3000 a month. This is why she can’t afford rent and is living with her parents.

I can’t take it and respond that life is all about choices and priorities. She can have a home of her own if she is willing to work hard and make sacrifices in other areas. I tell her how when I was saving for both of my homes (since I started over with nothing after a divorce in my early 30s) was to live in the cheapest place I could find. Was it fancy? No. Was it in a nice area? Also no. But it was cheap and allowed me to save up. I got things used rather than new to save money, cooked meals at home and packed a lunch. I didn’t go out, I had friends over. But those years spent working hard and saving up got me to where I am today in a nice house in a nice, safe neighborhood. It wasn’t luck or a prosperous divorce or an inheritance. It was hard work. In fact I left my ex-husband broker than when I was a college student working a fast food job.

Yeah, that didn’t go well. Within 10 minutes I was flooded with comments about what a miserable existence that was and no one should be proud of living that way.

Really? Have we gotten to the point where hard work is a bad thing? Have those who have sacrificed social lives to obtain advanced degrees are villains for now making a decent living? How are those who work hard, live below their means and save up for what they want now the “bad guys”. Has no one ever heard the story of the grasshopper and the ant?

I told my husband about the interaction and he said he remembers what it was like to be young and broke. Yeah, I remember too. The difference is that I didn’t like it and I worked hard to not be broke anymore. Nothing was given to me. I worked hard for everything I have. It’s ok. Those girls can talk all they want on the internet about my “miserable life”. I’ll take my travel and incredible experiences over lashes and nails any day.

Oh and I’m writing this from the couch in my house, that I own. Something the internet trolls that would NEVER want my “miserable life” are whining about not having.

If you don’t like your life change it! It will not be easy, there will be setbacks. But no matter where you are YOU have the power to change it.

Mexico Adventure Continues

Day 2 was an early start with breakfast down on the beach that left us running to catch our shuttle off to our day of adventure UTV, camel ride, and boat to see lands end.

My husband had never done any of the above before. Up first was the UTV, think ATV, but 2 people sitting side by side. I let him drive. He drives like an old lady. Slow and super safe, also why he was driving and not me. Because I’d be jumping sand dunes and doing all kinds of crazy things that would likely end up in us needing to use that optional insurance we purchased.

From there it was off to ride the camels. Now last time I rode camels it was in Egypt at the Giza pyramids. It was a much different experience here. To start with I didn’t have to haul myself up on the back of a kneeling camel and try not to fall off when it stood up, I simply got on an already standing camel from an elevated platform. Sooo much easier! But, although the beach was a beautiful setting…the pyramids were much cooler.

After a beautiful lunch overlooking the beach we had yet another tequila tasting and then it was off to catch our boat to lands end. It was beautiful as always. But when we returned to the dock is when things went a bit off the plan. While looking for a bathroom in the marina I decided I was hot and thirsty and said “Hey! There is Senior Frogs. They will have a bathroom and even better…cold drinks!”

My husband has never been to Senior Frogs. It was not in the plan so he had no idea and figured it was just another place to eat. Well, several cold drinks and the famous shots poured into your mouth straight from the bottle and we stumbled back to our hotel to get cleaned up for dinner.

Dinner was on the beach to watch the sun set. I don’t know why, but sun sets just seem so pretty in the tropics. Don’t get me wrong, we get some stunning sunsets at home, but I just love watching the sun set over the ocean. Long story short… somehow we ended up with a sand problem in our room for the rest of the trip. The most annoying was all the sand in our bed. Yes, in the bed. Apparently our walk in the water followed by a walk in the sand created sand sticking to our feet that we apparently did not notice (probably due to the cocktails consumed waiting for the sunset)

Sand problem aside…it was a full day of adventure!

Greetings from MEXICO

If you have followed me for a while you know that my husband and I try to get away every year for our anniversary. This year for #14 we went back to Cabo San Lucas Mexico.

Why go back when there is so much of the world to see? Well, although I have been here 20-something times, this is my husbands 3rd trip. But he kinda got ripped off on the first 2. Our 1st trip to Cabo was on a cruise for our 1st anniversary. I was big and pregnant with our 1st son at the time and waddling around. I couldn’t really do any of the excursions on the ship because I was pregnant. So, he kinda got ripped off.

Enter trip to Cabo #2. This was during Covid in an attempt to get away from CA that was closed for 3 years. Because it was covid there were still weird rules and not everything was open so we pretty much just stayed in the resort and lounged in the pool.

So trip #3…the real one where we are finally able to do it all, and do it all we did! The day we arrived we checked into our hotel then ventured out for something to eat and walk around the area after we ate. We ended up at the town square where it looked like they were setting up for something. So we hung out, did a tequila tasting and eventually joined the crowd of locals enjoying the beautiful evening with an art walk and street fair. My husband tried his 1st real churro. It did not disappoint. Then we ended up doing another tequila tasting. And finally wandering back to our hotel.

Take the trip. Time will pass anyway you may as well make it memorable.

$17,000

Yep. I finally decided to go into a plastic surgeons office for a consult to get an idea of what the damage is going to be to get rid of all the hanging skin on my arms and see if there is anything I can do on my way to my goal weight to aid in firming up the skin. They looked over my medical questionnaire and told me I’m not a candidate for surgery because I have high blood pressure (well controlled) and diabetes (also well controlled and unmedicated).

But, there’s good news! I am a candidate for their non-surgical treatments. The consultant went over an array of treatment options for my FACE that I did not go in for. I get it. I’m 50 years old, horrible with wearing sunscreen and even worse when it comes to pretty much any self care including taking care of my skin. But in need of $17,000 worth of skin treatments over the next year? Yeah, I don’t think so. But they were holding my ID and credit card hostage so I listened to all the options and looked at before and after photos and while I could see a big improvement in the samples, I just didn’t see where I needed $17,000 of improvements. It wasn’t going to make me look like I was 16 again and I really don’t think I look that bad for 50. (Ok, I may be delusional)

So I had a facial yesterday and I was talking to my esthetician about the $17,000 worth of work I apparently needed. She couldn’t see it either. Now I go in every other month to see her because I have been working on trying to repair some of my sun damage because honestly, I can’t stay out of the sun and I just started wearing sunscreen in the last couple years fairly regularly. She told me if I just wore sunscreen and used my moisturizer daily, actually used the red light mask I got during covid at least once a week and saw her a couple times a year I’d look great and if I every want to bump up my skin care she will help me come up with a plan that suits my needs and she will do it for WAY less than $17,000.

So this led to a discussion about all the products and procedures that are marketed to us in an effort to stay looking young when we really don’t need to go to extremes but can keep looking good with consistency. It’s like that with everything. Stay good 90% of the time and the 10% that you miss the mark will not be too bad. If you eat healthy 90% of the time that one night of pizza and beer out with friends will not make that much of a difference. If you exercise 90% of the time and take a day or two off to binge watch a TV show as long as you get back to it after it isn’t a big deal. It’s the same with my skin care. If actually took care of it and, well let’s face it if I even put any effort into it, I’d look a lot better and the vast majority of “problems” they pointed out at the plastic surgeons office would not be a problem at all.

So take care of yourself. Spend the $20 on some moisturizer and sunscreen. Use it regularly and save yourself $16,980.

My True Self

Today I had a patient compliment me on my top. I thanked her and told her tend to wear a lot of prints from nature. Then she asked me something I never thought about…”Have you always liked them or is it something you began to appreciate later in life?”

I thought back to my favorite outfits through the years and as far back as I could remember elements of nature have dominated my favorite wardrobe items. The only exceptions being tie-dye and the occasional paisley. I’m a California girl and I LOVE my tie-dye and flip flops…always have.

So this started me thinking…as we get older do we change and become our authentic self or do we just care less about what others think and let our true selves show? Perhaps a bit of both. Granted, I am no longer running around in my under-roos acting like I am Wonder Woman but many of the things I loved as a kid are still relevant today.

I think about the person I am today and the things I love and wonder if all the time I was growing up and especially as a kid or a teenager when I was trying new things was a waste of time. None of it “stuck”. I still love the ocean and the beach is absolutely my happy place. It always has been. I’m so drawn to it that I swear I must be part mermaid. My favorite foods have not really changed. I still like to try new things, but no matter what I still have my likes and dislikes. I prefer the flavor of the foods over the flavors of strong seasonings. I still can’t stand beans of any kind, hot canned tuna (like a tuna melt or tuna casserole) or cilantro and I LOVE fresh fruit in particular…probably part of the reason that our yard is full of fruit trees.

Was I born this way or did I become this way through my life experiences? I’m a very different person than my parents or my siblings…Who all think I may be a little nuts with all my adventures. But I can’t imagine my life any other way. It is just the way I have always been. I can’t imagine me living my live like any of them. I love them dearly, and there isn’t anything wrong with how they choose to live their lives…It just isn’t for me.

And that is OK.

Living in California

I admit, I am pretty spoiled. I am also a weather weakling. I am use to our fairly mild weather here and do not deal well when it is too hot or too cold. Pretty much I prefer it to be between 65-85 with a light breeze and a beautiful blue sky… Of course I don’t always get that, but a girl can dream.

So here it is in the beginning of 2025. Winter and we are blessed with incredible weather and a beautiful bright blue sky. My husband and I have a date day planned and it is so beautiful out we decide to go kayaking somewhere new. We load up the kayaks in the truck when the sitter gets there and head off. Our first stop was a bust. It was gross. There was a nasty red algae bloom and it had a funny smell. The algae blooms usually have a funny smell. But we had a sitter all day and it was beautiful out so my husband suggested that we head 20 min down the road to another lake (since I wanted to go there anyway before my triathlon in April).

We get there and after getting briefly lost, we load our kayaks in the water and have an incredible day out on the lake enjoying the fresh air and beautiful views. After kayaking we are both starving and head into Napa for a late lunch. So here we are enjoying the sunshine in the Napa valley after a day of kayaking in January.

We get home, unload the truck and start prepping for the upcoming week with the kids returning to school…finally. School breaks always seem to last forever. I sit down and look at Facebook only to see multiple posts about a huge snowstorm from friends of mine who live in areas that get snow. (areas I deem uninhabitable due to the fact that snow occurs there. I am NOT digging myself out of the house.) I start thinking here I am whining that my bare feet got a little cold while I was out kayaking because I forgot my water shoes and I have friends and relatives dealing with roads that have yet to be plowed. They are in full winter gear and I am in a t-shirt.

I started looking around and thinking about how grateful I am that I have the ability to 1. get out on a date day with my husband who I still adore after over a decade of marriage and 2. that I come home to a warm, happy home where my kids are sitting around in shorts and t-shirts laughing at a ridiculous movie on TV and snacking.

Is my life perfect? No. There is always room for improvement. But we can either focus on what wo do not have or we can be thankful for what we do. I choose to be positive and thankful.

Am I always that way? Also no (just see my attitude change when I slip in pee on the bathroom floor. I live in a house full of boys. There is pretty much always pee on the bathroom floor)

But, I live in a home full love love and laughter. For that I am thankful.

Happy New Year!

“World News” and “using your brain”

I have 2 items today. Up first is “World News”. So I have a group chat on WhatsApp with several friends I made while in Tibet from around the world. I woke up to quite the chat on there about the earthquake in Tibet. Living here in the states I had not heard anything so I clicked their posted news links from their countries and read up. Wanting more I clicked the link for “World News” online when I got to work figuring it world be one of the top stories since it just happened and it was big enough to be felt in Nepal, India and Bhutan. I didn’t see a peep. But apparently McDonalds is extending their $5 meals and J-Lo is getting divorced. It seems the banner of “world news” is misleading since it does not actually contain any actual “news” from anywhere else in the world until you get 3 pages deep in it and find an article about the UKs new tourist tax that’s pretty much an online e-visa, when it starts and how to apply. I actually read this since I’ll be traveling there later this year and 5 pages deep into my search for any actual “World News” I gave up and just typed “Tibet Earthquake” into the search and found information finally. Aaaaand this is one of the reasons I have not watched American “news” programs since 9-11 when I was watching a “live” segment from the air force base near my home saying how everything is quiet there as I am watching fighter jet after fighter jet take off out my window. I was also late to work twice due to road closures from large military convoys moving large things on big trucks covered with tarps. All quiet my butt.

Anyway, I lost my faith in the news back then. I figure if anything big happens EVERYONE will be talking about it. Well, decades later, that is no longer true. You need to dig deep to find any actual news. But hey! If you want to know pretty much any of what use to be called “entertainment news” just pop open your browser and click on “news”.

Ok, news rant over…Up next is a conversation I had with my co-workers about chicken and eggs. Apparently they told me that they can’t buy chicken or eggs because of the outbreak of bird flu.

I work in healthcare. I asked them if they know how the flu spreads. They just stared back at me confused. So I explained that the flu is airborne and you get it from inhaling germs after someone coughs or sneezes or by touching a surface they touched then touching your face. With the bird flu you can also get it by touching infected birds then touching your face.

So, to keep from catching the flu don’t be nasty. Wash your hands and don’t touch your face. Problem solved. They then were confused why all poultry products were pulled because of the bird flu.

Yeah, I question that too. My guess…morons and hysteria. but just to be safe I said maybe the concern is Salmonella. Do you guys know how to keep yourselves from getting that? (Again with the blank stares) Cook your meats thoroughly. Wash your hands and any utensils before and after dealing with raw meats. Easy.

Apparently they just blindly believed the signs at the stores and news and no one took a moment to ask themselves if this makes sense. Not one single one of them until I said something. They just kept passing on what they saw/heard without taking a minute to question if it makes any sense and they work in healthcare. They should know these things.

I had a frustrating day where I seriously felt like I was the only human left capable of any sort of rational thought. How can “World News” 1. Not be from other countries around the world and 2. Not contain any actual news? Am I the only person wondering that? Am I the only person not blindly believing and spreading information that let’s face it…makes absolutely no sense?

I guess I’m old. I miss the days when the news was actual news and people washed their hands and understood how to prepare food without giving everyone food poisoning.

With my heart going out to the kind people I met in the remote areas of Tibet and their families in this trying time. I hope you are all well, find shelter to keep you warm and safe in winter and rebuild again. Namaste.

Happy New Year!

So you may be wondering what the plans are for 2025. It’s going to be a full year!

Starting out, my husband has decided to start running again with his old running group with a goal of doing a few half-marathons this year and moving up to full marathons again in 2026. I have agreed to do the half marathon when he does the full at races in fun destinations to make a mini getaway for us. I’m NOT joining the running group. I hate running. But I walk faster than most people jog so I’m walking them. I figure my triathlon training is enough to keep me in shape to do a half marathon without any extra work specific to those races. I may be wrong, but since I already have “running” as part of my triathlon training and I’m use to endurance races I’m just going to go with it. 😁

Now let’s talk travel… we are starting 2025 by taking the kids to Great Wolf Lodge. May the odds be ever in our favor while traveling with 2 kids with Autism and taking them away from their routine.

Up next is Cabo San Lucas sans-kids for our anniversary. This will be a different trip there for my husband who is ready to step out of his comfort zone and try some new things. Our previous trips to Cabo together started with 2 days there on a cruise where I was super big and pregnant with our 1st son. We made it back home with 3 days to spare before I was too far along in my pregnancy to travel internationally. I may have freaked him out a bit by doing pretty much all the stuff they tell you NOT to do on the cruise ship. But I was too big and too hot to care and have been to Cabo more times than I can count prior to that trip. The 2nd trip there was for our anniversary during Covid where we only left the resort once. But we left it and survived and I didn’t freak him out too much probably due to the tequila tasting I took him to first before venturing out. Liquid courage did wonders for his nerves.

So this trip he said he is ready to travel my way and try new things. I asked him if he was sure because once I book it he is stuck. He thought about it and the next day he said he was ready. I immediately booked us in a small boutique hotel with only 8 rooms with a great location. I had to book it all in Spanish. Thankfully, I speak “travel” in many languages and Spanish is my strongest. Up next was choosing activities. Since he apparently grew up under a rock he really has not done much so we are doing it all! ATVs in the desert, riding camels, parasailing, glass bottom boat tour, glass blowing, shopping, bar hopping, a cooking class, hiking to El Arco, a street food tour… it will be a trip full of adventure by day and relaxing evenings sipping margaritas and laughing the night away.

If you follow my blog you know my husband is NOT a traveler but very much wants to be one. Getting him to this point has not been easy. He slowly learning how to pack (although I can’t seem to get him to travel light as I do so every time we go somewhere I get annoyed waiting for him to 1. Check his bag and 2. Get his bag after the flight) I will occasionally need to check a bag because I have something that I can’t put in my carry on bag like when I had several knives to bring home from Nepal. Or when I have a bit too much to drink and go shopping and purchase bottles of booze that I need to bring home. (Or a case or two plus loose bottles) It annoys me when I have to check a bag or more too.

Enough about Mexico. Let’s talk about the couples trip for special needs parents that my husband and I are leading. We started out by hosting a monthly “parents night out” for the special needs parents group we are part of locally. It has gone really well for a few years now but have been asked for more. There is a Moms retreat. But not much else. It’s difficult to get away as a couple when you have typical kids but with special needs kids it is almost impossible. So with the success of parents night out, we are attempting a getaway for parents to be themselves among others who “get it”. We chose Catalina Island off the coast of California as our destination for a long weekend getaway. It’s far enough to be “away” but close enough that if things go really bad at home we can all make it back fairly easy. So far we have 7 couples excited about going with rooms already booked.

The day after we get home from Catalina I leave to go to the UK with one of my best friends to celebrate her 50th birthday. She watches our kids for us when we go out of town so we don’t have to pay a sitter to sleep and without her help, we would never be able to go anywhere overnight together. Going to the UK has been at the top of her bucket list for as long as I have known her. So as her 50th birthday approached I asked my husband if it would be ok if I took her as a thank you for watching the kids. I usually take her out somewhere for her birthday every year even if it’s just lunch but with it being 50 I wanted to do something big. He agreed *if* I could stay within a budget and not get crazy. Honestly, I think he thought I couldn’t make it work. But as an old school budget traveler and backpacker I got this! When I told her she cried she was so happy. I told her to stay within the budget she would need to pay for her own airfare (that may be as much as $1200, but I’ll look for the best deal I can find for a direct flight…actual total $662.81 each round trip from San Francisco to London 😎) but I got the rest. We are working on what to do with our week there now. I have a plan that I think she will love but told her to give me her top “must see” list soon so I can get started booking and fit in as many of those places as I can.

With 2025 plans looking good so far I was talking to my friend in Australia about our next meet up and when and where to go. My 2025 is pretty full but 2026 is open. We each looked at a world map and decided that we want warmer over colder and somewhere cheap and not too touristy that was not over 24 hours of travel for each of us to get there. Things always get weird when we try to get together since we live on complete opposite sides of the planet I don’t think we could be farther apart from each other. After a couple days of crossing off countries from our list we finally decided on Indonesia. (Yeah, we are both very well traveled and actually met in Egypt. So, while most people could not even tell us where Indonesia is we were both into the idea.) Today I approached my husband with the idea of me going solo to Indonesia to meet up with my friend from the land down under. Cringing because I’m already going to the UK…again with another friend this year and expecting a lecture about saving money and trying to pay off the house early…but surprisingly he was great with it. He said it has been too long since we got together and are well overdue for it. And apparently he was watching a video on YouTube recently that said Indonesia is a totally underrated and affordable travel destination (as apparently are several other places I keep talking about going to. Apparently I have good taste.) So, I sent her a quick message and told her “project Indonesia 2026 is a go”.

So that wraps up 2025 plans and gives you a sneak peek at 2026 plans starting to form. I know 2026 seems far away but it will be here sooner than you think and I find that I do more and see more if I have a plan. So, with 2025 mostly booked it’s time to start my general outline for 2026.

Happy New Year to all my readers. I hope if you don’t have plans for 2025 and beyond yet that I have inspired you to make some. After all… life is what happens when you get off the couch.

Achieving my dream of one day going to Tibet

How do I get THERE from HERE?!?

When you look into your ideal future what do you see?

This is the question I ask myself every year around my birthday. I don’t do New years resolutions. I set goals every year to be achieved by the next year and on the 5’s and the 0’s I set 5 year goals too and if I am making a big change that is when it happens. I will sometimes fall a bit short of my goals but I almost always meet them. These goals are not the typical “loose weight” or “quit smoking” ect that so many people resolve to do. My goals are more…well…They are just different.

My annual goals tend to be achieving something on my bucket list before my next birthday, starting or finishing something. These are goals that I can achieve in a year or less. I have set goals like getting SCUBA certified, getting my passport and booking my first international trip, learn to play the piano ect. All of those I have achieved. Some (like learning to fold a fitted sheet) are just beyond my capabilities. Some were really hard like learning to walk without my cane after shattering my leg and spending 6 months in a wheelchair and another 6 months learning to walk again. 12 years later I am still really slow going down stairs and need the handrail but I can walk without a cane.

As for my 5 year goals they are bigger, life changing things. I dropped all my friends that I felt were pulling me down and got new friends. I purchased a house…twice. My 5 year goals are things that change my life and take a while to accomplish.

So why this talk of goals? I turned 50 this year. It is a massive milestone birthday. I celebrated with an epic adventure but that has me thinking…What changes do I want to make in my life? Overall, I am pretty happy with things. Of course I LOVE to win the lottery and spend my days lounging on tropical beaches but that isn’t really a goal I can set for myself. I did set a goal a while back to invest more into my retirement so I can retire well when I finally do. I’m still on track there and my retirement should include some lounging in the tropics. But that leaves me wondering what do I want to achieve between 50 and 55?

Write a book? Kids book, novel, how to? Learn a new language? What language? Learn a new skill? What skill? Honestly, I am hoping to come up with something new soon. Because I don’t just decide “I’m going to learn to play the piano!” My goal also comes with a plan. It is not just a statement. I need to figure it out. I need to make a plan.

I’m actually pretty happy with my life and don’t need any big changes. I’ll keep working on my health. I’ll keep working on being debt free…including paying my mortgage off early. My retirement savings is actually ahead of where I need to be thanks to early plans there.

So for the first time I’m a bit stuck. it looks like I’ll just be refining my current goals and tweaking them a bit.

Pay off my car and house are in the plan (car in the next 3 years, house in I think 6 more years. I don’t think I can cram it into 5.) Not bad goals since I just got my car in March and we got our house in 2016.

I’m still working on getting in shape but I’m down 100 lbs and have about 40 more to go. I want to add in yoga and strength training…somehow.

I want some social goals maybe a date day, family day and a friend day each once a month. It’s easy to get busy and just let the fun stuff slide. Something creative too… I think I’m going to try to learn to crochet. I found a local group that meets 5 min from my house once a month. I think I’ll start there.

Travel goals are always fun to work on. I think the next big trip will be to Japan. There will be other smaller ones before that, but I can start figuring out what we want to do and getting an idea of how much time we will need and a general budget.

I’ll be meeting with a friend next week who is also working on goal setting to talk about our plans. It will be interesting since I have never worked on my goals with anyone but my husband when working on our shared goals like buying the house and paying off the credit cards or things we need help with like working out our training plans (marathons for him and triathlons for me) so one of us is home with the kids…although I think we are both going to do our long runs/long rides on Saturday mornings and get a sitter to leave Sundays free for us to do stuff together as a family. It’s an idea we are working on vs one going early and the other going later or one on Saturday and one on Sunday. I like to wait until the sun is up and the fog has cleared before I get out there on my bike. I prefer NOT to crash into potholes or get hit by cars.

Anyway, so that is the start of the plan. It all starts with general ideas. Then I form a plan on what changes need to happen to make it real. I choose steps and set goals and get a plan in place. It eventually all comes together. That is the part I’m working on with my friend. She has the ideas, but figuring out the steps to make those dreams a reality is what is hard for her.

Giving Thanks – Attitude of Gratitude

I have never been good at being thankful for what I have because I am so focused on my goals for the future that I often do not take a minute to appreciate what I have or all I have accomplished to this point. The exception… Thanksgiving. Maybe it is the forced relaxation after the feast is over and I settle in on the couch with my 2nd helping of pie… Because lets face it, I just do not have space for all the desserts in one sitting. Maybe it is just the holiday in general that makes me reflect. One thing is sure, I will look at my life and be thankful of what I have on this one day out of the year.

I can’t even tell you how many gratitude journals I have purchased in all different forms through the years to help me be more in the moment and appreciate what I have. Not that I have actually used any of them… But the intention is there. I want to be that person. I want to journal about my day. I want to reflect and be thankful for what I have. I want to be all zen and in the moment thankful for the life I have… But my mind will not let me.

My mind goes 100 MPH zipping through goals and to do lists and thinking about what is next to the point that I have a hard time being in the now. Breathe in… Did I put bread on my grocery list? I need to texture that hole I patched in the wall… Where is the paint? Oh that’s right… Breathe out. I am in the moment. I should really book an oil change…

Yeah, my husband says my mind is like a crowded bar on a Friday night with a band playing. He isn’t far off. There is a lot going on in there to the point that I am surprised that I get anything done. No matter how many meditation or mindfulness classes I take I can’t ever seem to achieve that clear mind I have heard so much about. The closest I can get is to picture I am at a beach and I’m focusing on the waves rolling in. Wave rolls in, Wave rolls out. Breathe in, Breathe out to the sound of the ocean in my mind. Even focusing on that is a struggle.

It isn’t that I’m NOT thankful for what I have… I am. I have fought hard to get where I am in life. I have a wonderful husband (who may annoy the hell out of me at times) but I adore him even when he is annoying. I have 2 boys that come with their own challenges…Especially my pre-teen. Uggg…Teenagers. But I love them dearly, even if one of them may be possessed until he finds his true self and the other one is a bottomless pit who is ALWAYS hungry but still skinny despite eating probably 10,000 calories a day. He may be training for an eating competition. I have a roof over my head and a job that pays the bills. I can still get around on my own two feet and still have my vision (with my contacts on) and I can still mostly hear (despite all those concerts in the 1980’s). Overall, I am doing pretty good. But we always want more.

Why is that? I am always working on something. Why settle when I can upgrade with a little more effort? Could I just stay local and enjoy a Stay-cation in El-Backyardo? Absolutely. But why when there is a whole world out there to see full of unique foods and experiences? Why settle when I can work a little harder for an upgrade? I have put in a lot of work to get in shape over the last year why not just settle in and be happy with my new size 16 self? Well, With a little more work I can be a size 14 or 12 or even a 10 (Honestly, I don’t think I have fit a 10 since I was 10). I can weigh that much less and be in much better shape not only look better but feel better as well.

I have learned that I can still be thankful for what I have and what I have accomplished through the years AND still want more. Wanting more does not negate what you already have. You can be thankful that you have a roof over your head while still dreaming that it was by the beach instead of in the suburbs. You can be thankful that you are able to walk the 5K Turkey Trot while wishing you could run it. You can be thankful that you have food you have while wishing you didn’t eat so much.

From my home to yours… I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!