Punk Rock!

20200110-DSC_0172Over the three day weekend I had a date day with my husband. Dates change a bit after you are married with kids. We went to see an “adult movie” (aka a movie that is not animated). The force was strong with us so we went to see Star Wars…at the 11 AM showing. Followed by a late lunch/early dinner and a few errands on the way home.

While we were on our way to the office supply store to pick up some address labels Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols came on the radio. We crank it up and sing along as we pull into the parking lot and score an awesome spot right in front. As we get out of the car a few people are staring at us as we walk in to get our address labels. I look at the two of us and could not feel less punk rock.

Once upon a time I had multi-color hair and enough piercings to set off the airport metal detector (yes, I actually set it off once flying home from Southern CA). I dated guys with real Mohawks in various colors, long hair, piercings and tattoos that were in bands. To those who knew me back then it’s no surprise that I married a musician. But he is a clean cut singer-songwriter with no piercings or tattoos. I’m the one with the tattoos and while I took out most of my piercings I kept a few.

Looking at the two of us I could not feel less punk rock rebellion as I’m wearing my denim jeans with no stains or holes, my deep red t-shirt top with button detailing and my comfy tennis shoes with my hair pulled back in a pony tail. I look at my hubby who is dressed similarly. We just got out of my plug in hybrid car. We live in a house in a nice neighborhood. What happened to our rebellious pasts back when we were, well I was cool?

We talked a lot on the way home with our address labels. We decided we are going to be crazy and rebel! We are NOT going to follow the GPS and will take the road less traveled (only to see it was a dead end and we had to go back over to where the GPS wanted us to go anyway). Maybe we should get his and hers Dr. Martins (I loved mine and wore them ever day when I backpacked through Europe). Maybe we should make it to a punk show this year. Maybe he should find some other special needs Dads that play instruments and they should a punk band…

In the end we went home. I made my labels and cursed at the printer that kept saying it wasn’t online while I could see it was clearly connected to the wifi. Then dropped off some more artwork at the gallery and found out another piece of mine sold. He stayed home and put on a movie for the kids.

So I may not be punk rock anymore. I may not be young. But I was cool once. I lived my life to the fullest and did lots of crazy and amazing things! While I am no longer the person I use to be, the person I am now isn’t so bad. I’m married to a great guy. I have two kids. I have a job that pays well. I have a creative outlet. My photography business is growing. I finished writing my first book…

Then again… Maybe I am still punk rock. After all, I’m not just existing and following typical societal rules. Sure I have the house, car, dog and 2 kids and a sensible wardrobe… but I married a significantly younger man. I’m a cougar. So what? I’m setting goals and achieving them. I’m going after my dreams. I’m breaking the rules and rediscovering myself in my 40’s. Im not just existing, I’m living! I’m creating art. I wrote a book. Who cares if I do it all in jeans and a t-shirt while wearing comfortable shoes and driving an ecologically conscious car? Damn it, I’m punk rock! (As long as I can be in bed by 10 PM)

Rock on people. Rock on.

(the photo was taken over the weekend at sunrise. I have been fascinated with the mist lately and braving the freezing temperatures to get some great photos as it rolls in at sunrise)

Setting goals and finding your passion.

With all the talk of the new year and new decade there has been a lot of talk about New Years resolutions, life goals and finding your passion. I’m pretty passionate about my love of travel and photography. If I didn’t need my day job, I’d quit and spend my days taking photos, reading books and traveling the world as much as possible!

While I think I’m pretty solid with my goals, I have friends who are not so clear. The big thing seems to be that they are stuck on the big hamster wheel of life and don’t know how to get off and do something different than they have always done. So they ask how do I make the change?

Change is not easy. I look at my life a decade ago and look at it now and it could almost be two completely different people I have changed so much. Getting to this point was not easy. I set small, obtainable goals and worked on them a little bit at a time setting new goals once I met my old ones. I knew where I wanted my life to be, so I made a plan to get there. I broke it down into smaller pieces and tackled them one piece at a time. It didn’t seem like much when I was working on them. But a decade later all those little things added up to big changes.

I find most people dream of how they want their life to be. Some dream of material things they want. Others dream of personal goals to better themselves physically or mentally. Others dream of seeing far off lands. (I live and work in the San Francisco Bay Area to me the Golden Gate Bridge is just a way to get home while avoiding the ball parks when games are about to get out. But for others it’s a dream to see it in person.) Some may know their dreams, others may be so stuck in a rut that they have no idea where to even start. Some people may be so unhappy with…well everything that they want to change it all! But no matter what their dreams are (if they even know them). The big breakdown seems to be the unwillingness to change from their old ways to make space for their new goals and eventually their new life. Everyone had heard the saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. But you can teach them new tricks. It’s just harder than when they are a puppy. People are the same way because they are set in their ways and old habits are hard to break.

My suggestion is to break it up into smaller pieces and celebrate the small successes. Let’s say you have 100 lbs to loose. That sounds like an impossible undertaking. But if you break it up into ten 10 lb chunks it doesn’t sound so intimidating. 10 lbs… I can do that! Then when you loose the first 10 set your goal to loose 10 more for a total of 20 and so on. Let’s say you want to save more money. Using the same idea let’s say you are going to make coffee at home in the morning before work and put the $5 a day you were going to spend on coffee into a jar to save. That gives you $25 a week, $100 a month and $1200 by the end of the year. A decade from now that $5 a day will then turn into $12,000! Small changes can add up over time and become a big deal.

So I ask you… what changes do you want to make in your life? Where do you see yourself in 2030? How can you get from where you are in 2020 to where you want to be in 3030?