future self – Working Mom

Happy New Year!

So you may be wondering what the plans are for 2025. It’s going to be a full year!

Starting out, my husband has decided to start running again with his old running group with a goal of doing a few half-marathons this year and moving up to full marathons again in 2026. I have agreed to do the half marathon when he does the full at races in fun destinations to make a mini getaway for us. I’m NOT joining the running group. I hate running. But I walk faster than most people jog so I’m walking them. I figure my triathlon training is enough to keep me in shape to do a half marathon without any extra work specific to those races. I may be wrong, but since I already have “running” as part of my triathlon training and I’m use to endurance races I’m just going to go with it. 😁

Now let’s talk travel… we are starting 2025 by taking the kids to Great Wolf Lodge. May the odds be ever in our favor while traveling with 2 kids with Autism and taking them away from their routine.

Up next is Cabo San Lucas sans-kids for our anniversary. This will be a different trip there for my husband who is ready to step out of his comfort zone and try some new things. Our previous trips to Cabo together started with 2 days there on a cruise where I was super big and pregnant with our 1st son. We made it back home with 3 days to spare before I was too far along in my pregnancy to travel internationally. I may have freaked him out a bit by doing pretty much all the stuff they tell you NOT to do on the cruise ship. But I was too big and too hot to care and have been to Cabo more times than I can count prior to that trip. The 2nd trip there was for our anniversary during Covid where we only left the resort once. But we left it and survived and I didn’t freak him out too much probably due to the tequila tasting I took him to first before venturing out. Liquid courage did wonders for his nerves.

So this trip he said he is ready to travel my way and try new things. I asked him if he was sure because once I book it he is stuck. He thought about it and the next day he said he was ready. I immediately booked us in a small boutique hotel with only 8 rooms with a great location. I had to book it all in Spanish. Thankfully, I speak “travel” in many languages and Spanish is my strongest. Up next was choosing activities. Since he apparently grew up under a rock he really has not done much so we are doing it all! ATVs in the desert, riding camels, parasailing, glass bottom boat tour, glass blowing, shopping, bar hopping, a cooking class, hiking to El Arco, a street food tour… it will be a trip full of adventure by day and relaxing evenings sipping margaritas and laughing the night away.

If you follow my blog you know my husband is NOT a traveler but very much wants to be one. Getting him to this point has not been easy. He slowly learning how to pack (although I can’t seem to get him to travel light as I do so every time we go somewhere I get annoyed waiting for him to 1. Check his bag and 2. Get his bag after the flight) I will occasionally need to check a bag because I have something that I can’t put in my carry on bag like when I had several knives to bring home from Nepal. Or when I have a bit too much to drink and go shopping and purchase bottles of booze that I need to bring home. (Or a case or two plus loose bottles) It annoys me when I have to check a bag or more too.

Enough about Mexico. Let’s talk about the couples trip for special needs parents that my husband and I are leading. We started out by hosting a monthly “parents night out” for the special needs parents group we are part of locally. It has gone really well for a few years now but have been asked for more. There is a Moms retreat. But not much else. It’s difficult to get away as a couple when you have typical kids but with special needs kids it is almost impossible. So with the success of parents night out, we are attempting a getaway for parents to be themselves among others who “get it”. We chose Catalina Island off the coast of California as our destination for a long weekend getaway. It’s far enough to be “away” but close enough that if things go really bad at home we can all make it back fairly easy. So far we have 7 couples excited about going with rooms already booked.

The day after we get home from Catalina I leave to go to the UK with one of my best friends to celebrate her 50th birthday. She watches our kids for us when we go out of town so we don’t have to pay a sitter to sleep and without her help, we would never be able to go anywhere overnight together. Going to the UK has been at the top of her bucket list for as long as I have known her. So as her 50th birthday approached I asked my husband if it would be ok if I took her as a thank you for watching the kids. I usually take her out somewhere for her birthday every year even if it’s just lunch but with it being 50 I wanted to do something big. He agreed *if* I could stay within a budget and not get crazy. Honestly, I think he thought I couldn’t make it work. But as an old school budget traveler and backpacker I got this! When I told her she cried she was so happy. I told her to stay within the budget she would need to pay for her own airfare (that may be as much as $1200, but I’ll look for the best deal I can find for a direct flight…actual total $662.81 each round trip from San Francisco to London 😎) but I got the rest. We are working on what to do with our week there now. I have a plan that I think she will love but told her to give me her top “must see” list soon so I can get started booking and fit in as many of those places as I can.

With 2025 plans looking good so far I was talking to my friend in Australia about our next meet up and when and where to go. My 2025 is pretty full but 2026 is open. We each looked at a world map and decided that we want warmer over colder and somewhere cheap and not too touristy that was not over 24 hours of travel for each of us to get there. Things always get weird when we try to get together since we live on complete opposite sides of the planet I don’t think we could be farther apart from each other. After a couple days of crossing off countries from our list we finally decided on Indonesia. (Yeah, we are both very well traveled and actually met in Egypt. So, while most people could not even tell us where Indonesia is we were both into the idea.) Today I approached my husband with the idea of me going solo to Indonesia to meet up with my friend from the land down under. Cringing because I’m already going to the UK…again with another friend this year and expecting a lecture about saving money and trying to pay off the house early…but surprisingly he was great with it. He said it has been too long since we got together and are well overdue for it. And apparently he was watching a video on YouTube recently that said Indonesia is a totally underrated and affordable travel destination (as apparently are several other places I keep talking about going to. Apparently I have good taste.) So, I sent her a quick message and told her “project Indonesia 2026 is a go”.

So that wraps up 2025 plans and gives you a sneak peek at 2026 plans starting to form. I know 2026 seems far away but it will be here sooner than you think and I find that I do more and see more if I have a plan. So, with 2025 mostly booked it’s time to start my general outline for 2026.

Happy New Year to all my readers. I hope if you don’t have plans for 2025 and beyond yet that I have inspired you to make some. After all… life is what happens when you get off the couch.

Achieving my dream of one day going to Tibet

How do I get THERE from HERE?!?

When you look into your ideal future what do you see?

This is the question I ask myself every year around my birthday. I don’t do New years resolutions. I set goals every year to be achieved by the next year and on the 5’s and the 0’s I set 5 year goals too and if I am making a big change that is when it happens. I will sometimes fall a bit short of my goals but I almost always meet them. These goals are not the typical “loose weight” or “quit smoking” ect that so many people resolve to do. My goals are more…well…They are just different.

My annual goals tend to be achieving something on my bucket list before my next birthday, starting or finishing something. These are goals that I can achieve in a year or less. I have set goals like getting SCUBA certified, getting my passport and booking my first international trip, learn to play the piano ect. All of those I have achieved. Some (like learning to fold a fitted sheet) are just beyond my capabilities. Some were really hard like learning to walk without my cane after shattering my leg and spending 6 months in a wheelchair and another 6 months learning to walk again. 12 years later I am still really slow going down stairs and need the handrail but I can walk without a cane.

As for my 5 year goals they are bigger, life changing things. I dropped all my friends that I felt were pulling me down and got new friends. I purchased a house…twice. My 5 year goals are things that change my life and take a while to accomplish.

So why this talk of goals? I turned 50 this year. It is a massive milestone birthday. I celebrated with an epic adventure but that has me thinking…What changes do I want to make in my life? Overall, I am pretty happy with things. Of course I LOVE to win the lottery and spend my days lounging on tropical beaches but that isn’t really a goal I can set for myself. I did set a goal a while back to invest more into my retirement so I can retire well when I finally do. I’m still on track there and my retirement should include some lounging in the tropics. But that leaves me wondering what do I want to achieve between 50 and 55?

Write a book? Kids book, novel, how to? Learn a new language? What language? Learn a new skill? What skill? Honestly, I am hoping to come up with something new soon. Because I don’t just decide “I’m going to learn to play the piano!” My goal also comes with a plan. It is not just a statement. I need to figure it out. I need to make a plan.

I’m actually pretty happy with my life and don’t need any big changes. I’ll keep working on my health. I’ll keep working on being debt free…including paying my mortgage off early. My retirement savings is actually ahead of where I need to be thanks to early plans there.

So for the first time I’m a bit stuck. it looks like I’ll just be refining my current goals and tweaking them a bit.

Pay off my car and house are in the plan (car in the next 3 years, house in I think 6 more years. I don’t think I can cram it into 5.) Not bad goals since I just got my car in March and we got our house in 2016.

I’m still working on getting in shape but I’m down 100 lbs and have about 40 more to go. I want to add in yoga and strength training…somehow.

I want some social goals maybe a date day, family day and a friend day each once a month. It’s easy to get busy and just let the fun stuff slide. Something creative too… I think I’m going to try to learn to crochet. I found a local group that meets 5 min from my house once a month. I think I’ll start there.

Travel goals are always fun to work on. I think the next big trip will be to Japan. There will be other smaller ones before that, but I can start figuring out what we want to do and getting an idea of how much time we will need and a general budget.

I’ll be meeting with a friend next week who is also working on goal setting to talk about our plans. It will be interesting since I have never worked on my goals with anyone but my husband when working on our shared goals like buying the house and paying off the credit cards or things we need help with like working out our training plans (marathons for him and triathlons for me) so one of us is home with the kids…although I think we are both going to do our long runs/long rides on Saturday mornings and get a sitter to leave Sundays free for us to do stuff together as a family. It’s an idea we are working on vs one going early and the other going later or one on Saturday and one on Sunday. I like to wait until the sun is up and the fog has cleared before I get out there on my bike. I prefer NOT to crash into potholes or get hit by cars.

Anyway, so that is the start of the plan. It all starts with general ideas. Then I form a plan on what changes need to happen to make it real. I choose steps and set goals and get a plan in place. It eventually all comes together. That is the part I’m working on with my friend. She has the ideas, but figuring out the steps to make those dreams a reality is what is hard for her.

This is 50!

Well, it’s official. I’m 50. I ended my 1st 50 years by ticking Everest off my bucket list. I wanted to do something epic to celebrate and I could not think of anything bigger than Everest. So I finally did it. I ended my 1st 50 years at Everest base camp.

Now how to sent the tone for my next 50 years? So I have already been working on getting in shape and my next item up on my bucket list was to do a triathlon and wouldn’t you know there was one on my actual 50th birthday. The temptation was too much for me so I signed up.

After all the negative comments I got from friends and family in regards to my Everest trip I decided to keep my triathlon a secret so they would not be in my head come race day. I trained. I got a new bike because the two I had were just not suited for what I wanted to do. I absolutely love my new bike.

So race day came and not only did I finish my 1st triathlon but I came in 1st in my age group! Not bad for 50.

The other racers were amazing and so encouraging especially as I struggled in the heat pretty much completely fixated on the fact that there is cold water at the finish line. (The run was a trail run in the heat with no shade or breeze and let’s just say my water was gone in the 1st k of the 5k it was so hot and I usually don’t bring any water with me on a 5k)

So this is 50. Cheers to 50 more years!

My gear all set up in the transition area

Me on the podium alone because I was way across the parking lot in the shade drinking water and stuffing my face with watermelon when they called my name. 🤣🤣🤣

Back in the USA

I’m back! Ok, I didn’t say I was actually going anywhere but I did. My husband and I took our annual vacation together for our anniversary and did the trip we didn’t get to do on our 10th anniversary (thanks covid travel restrictions). We went to the UK!

This was my 6th trip there and my husband’s 1st time there. We have only VACATIONED together and have never TRAVELED together before. So this was a learning experience. I have traveled a lot…solo. My husband has never traveled before. So I had to try to adapt my style taking someone else’s wants, needs and desires into account. He had to learn how to travel and not just lounge and relax. It was weird. But after a few days we fell into a groove and started to really enjoy it. We figured out what works for us and by the end of the trip we were really in a groove and had it down.

On the flight home we decided to alternate years and do a chill vacation followed by an active travel experience. Both options have merit and we enjoy both. For us 2025 will be local-ish and we are looking at a spa day and lots of lounging poolside. 2026 will be a couple weeks in Japan. We have barely unpacked and are already started trying to figure out what we want to see there and make a plan.

Travel has always been important to me. It’s really nice to be able to share that love with my husband. There are so many women who miss out because their husbands will not travel with them and they will not go on their own or their husbands are not ok with them traveling alone. Now, I’m quite a bit more adventurous than my husband but he is supportive when I want to go somewhere he has zero interest in going to. When I mention an idea that he doesn’t want to do he will often tell me either “yeah, have fun with that.” Or “That sounds like a good idea for a girls trip.” As in… there is no way in hell I want to do that and I’m totally supportive of you going without me rather than forcing me to go with you.

Thanks bud. I love you too.

So, my next trip is in the fall. I’ll be going to Nepal and Tibet. This is a “have fun with that” trip. I wanted to do something epic for my 50th birthday so I’m ticking off another item off my bucket list and doing the Everest base camp trek. I started getting in shape for it 8 months ago. I’m down a total of 69 lbs so far. I have been a busy girl. I’m still not where I want to be but I’ll get there.

Me on my anniversary trip in 2023 vs 2024

My weight loss journey-November update

It has been a while since I have updated my progress. Not that it hasn’t been on my mind but life happens…in my case work.

I’m sure I have mentioned my hatred of the insane workloads and all the mandatory overtime with all the 12 hour days and 6 day weeks. Finally September arrived and my coworker took the overtime allowing me a bit of normalcy back in my life.

Then the day from hell happened and I finally cracked. I got to work at 7:30 AM as usual and the alarm was going off. With the engineers on strike there was no one to turn them off. It took until 3:30 in the afternoon to get the alarm shut off. Also the AC was stuck on Arctic blast and our department was 56 degrees…also unable to be fixed. By the time I left work at 4:30 I was in tears. My nerves were shot. My eyelids were twitching and I had a pounding headache.

I go home and still feel like hell. My Blood pressure is high so I go to bed. Surely I’ll feel better in the morning. I wake up the next day (a Saturday) and my husband tells me “happy weekend! You don’t have to go to work today!” I start crying. My pulse starts racing. I can’t get it together. So he gets up and tells me to take my time. He will get the kids up and start breakfast.

I can’t get it under control. I try to get out of the house and take one of my kids to the pumpkin patch and start having chest pain. I think this is it. That place is actually killing me. I turn around, take my son home and go to the ER.

I get a full work up to make sure I am not actually dying and end up with a diagnosis of extreme stress, a chill pill and a follow up with my medical dr who then takes me off work and puts me on anxiety medicine to try to help me get under control.

A few weeks later I’m starting to feel human again. I made some changes at work (including actively looking for another job). I slowed down and I get done what I get done. If people need to wait oh well. Maybe they should hire enough staff to cover the volume of work that needs to be done. I’m fully booked to the end of the year. Today I started the pile of consults that need to be seen but there’s nowhere to put them. I’m not overbooking myself again so people get seen in a timely manner.

I am also waiting on a surgery date in January for carpal tunnel surgery. So I’m not booking anyone in January until I get that date. I’ll book up to that day…when I get it.

Even with all that is going on and Halloween I still managed to loose just shy of 6 lbs in October. I’m hoping I can continue to slowly loose the weight through the holidays because overtime just started up again with today as my first 12 hour day again. I agreed to 1 a week and I choose what day it is and no more Saturdays.

I’m really hoping I get the job I applied for a few days ago. It is my light at the end of the tunnel. 20 min commute vs 1 hour, 1/4 the patient load and higher pay. At first I was thinking I would maybe pick up 1 Saturday a month to help my current coworker…but my husband is right. I’m already detaching from that job in hopes of getting this new one. Once I leave, I will not be back. That mess is their problem, not mine.

Not my monkeys, not my circus.

I just keep focused on the light, think positive and hope like hell that I get that job and can move on.

It came up too fast and now it’s over…

Well, that time is here and gone. I was planning on a slim, sexy body for my brothers wedding and while I failed at that, I am about 35 lbs lighter than when I started and still looked better than if I was 35 lbs heavier. As an added bonus all the running around and dancing left me 4 lbs lighter after the 4 day weekend.

I’m not stopping here. I am still determined to get back into shape. The pandemic may have thrown me a curve ball but I’m slowly working on it. One this this weekend has shown me is that my day job, commute and lack of movement on weekdays is really what is stopping me from being fit and fabulous.

I need to figure out how to add exercise to my weekdays sans-gym. Even moderately active will be an improvement on my 3000 steps a day I get chained to my computer. I need to figure out something to get moving to reach my goal of being fabulously fit at 50. (I have 36 months to make this happen, but I’m aiming for 24 or less so I have it off for a year before my 50th)

It is said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with a first step. Tomorrow I’m taking that first step and going back to my mosquito, wild animal walks around the park and back in the mornings. I have insect repellent and pepper spray. So as long as I don’t spook a skunk or come face to face with the bobcat or mountain lion that occasionally wander our neighborhood I should be good. (I have only seen the bobcat. But my friend a couple streets over has seen the mountain lion ahhh the joys of living close to nature)

36 months to 50…

I got this!

When a “day off” not really an actual day of rest

At some point “days off” work didn’t actually become a restful day to recuperate from work and enjoy life but they became just more work. It starts slow. You do your laundry, get groceries or run a few errands but easily have time to hit happy hour, grab lunch with a friend and catch a movie or go to the park with your family. My life has not been like that in some time now. It makes me wonder what happened? I see photos on Facebook of people out doing all kinds of things but not me. I always seem to be busy. Now, I’m not saying that I never get out, because I do. Just not as often as most other people.

I knew I was busy but I didn’t really understand until a few days ago. I took a day off of work so my husband could go to the dentist. He would not be done in time to get the kids off the bus so I took the day off of work. Now, my thought was I have a lot of things I need to get caught up for my photography business on so I’ll just get up like I’m going to work and pop open my laptop in the living room and get some work done. 13 hours later I finally got caught up…kinda. I still have more to do. There is always more to do.

Now I’m behind on my blog posts. How did this happen? Well…I have been busy. We are behind at work so there has been a lot of overtime. We had several people quit to take care of their kids when the schools did not reopen in the fall. No one has applied for those open jobs in almost a year now. Because we have been working short staffed we now have 4 people out injured (I will be joining them briefly when I have my carpal tunnel surgery after the kids are back in school). All of these vacancies have now brought us to the point that we have been opening for Saturday appointments for the last 3 months to try to catch up and now this month we are opening in the evenings too. So in an effort to be a team player I have been working from 7:30AM-7:30PM 4 days a week and 7:30-5 on Fridays. My coworker has been working 6 days a week taking the Saturdays since she works from 8:30-5 on weekdays. Add in my kids, photography business, household chores and getting up at 4:30 AM to get to the gym (that just opened on June 15th) before work and I am one busy, exhausted woman.

So I started looking at those relaxed, refreshed people out enjoying life all the time and wondered what they have in common. What are they doing (or not doing) that allows them to just chill out? With 1 exception the thing they all have in common is lack of a job. They have someone else providing the money they live on. About half have a minimal gig they do from selling something from a MLM of some sort or teaching an occasional class on something. By minimal I’m talking 1-2 days a week for about 2 hours actually working. Something to give them something to do. All have teenage or older kids. Only one had a full time job but her kids are grown and out of the house and no grandkids yet.

This made me realize that I’m not being fair to myself. I’m not comparing apples to apples. These women are not gone from the home almost 70 hours a week commuting or at work. Most days I’m commuting or at work for 15 of the 24 hours in a day. 9 hours to sleep, shower and go to the gym. No wonder I look exhausted. The 6 hours of sleep I get a night keeps me functional but not relaxed and refreshed. Makeup? What’s that? I’m lucky to just have clean laundry for everyone and groceries in the house (that I have delivered because I do not have time to shop). I’m not one of these women. I will not be one of them until my kids are grown and I’m retired. So until that point, I am ok and doing pretty good managing it all like so many others out there. The apples can stay apples. I’m ok being an orange. Maybe someday soon I can pull it all together for a day at the beach…

Traveling again!

A couple months ago everything was closed in California. With our 10th wedding anniversary approaching this weekend we didn’t want to spend it eating a frozen pizza like last year. In California you can’t make plans farther out than a few days. Our Governor changes the rules constantly keeping us as the most restricted state in the country. So to avoid spending another anniversary with a frozen pizza with our plans get canceled the day before we opted to not only leave the state, but leave the country. You know what’s open? Mexico.

We dusted off our passports and booked an all inclusive resort in Cabo San Lucas for 5 days. Yes, we understand there is a pandemic. But we are both fully vaccinated. There are also masking mandates in the enclosed areas of the resort and things are spread out more to allow for social distancing. Our resort has free covid tests prior to your departure and if you fail it you stay at the resort for free with room service to quarantine for 2 weeks. Not a bad deal.

At some point life needs to go back to normal. Living in the most restricted state for the last year has really taken its toll on all of us. There is a reason people and businesses are fleeing California to other states that are more open. I’m not saying to go lick sick people or purposely cough in others faces. But we all need to make decisions for ourselves. Everything comes with risk. It is up to us to decide what risks we are willing to take and what safety measures we want to use.

In our case, we need a break. I’m all work and no play and my husband has been locked inside in distance learning hell for a year. We are totally burnt out by the pandemic. We looked at moving to another state but it just didn’t make sense for us financially so we are sticking it out for a little while longer. Who knows…maybe if we stay locked down for another year it will be enough to take the financial hit for freedom.

Until then the countdown to Mexico is on!

My weight loss journey – March/April

I missed a monthly post in there but I have not stopped. March showed my biggest loss to date with 8.2 lbs! you may ask what changed nearly 6 months in…

Well February was cold and wet and my exercise dropped leaving me to a measly 4.6 lb loss. Not cool man. But my goal weight loss for 6 months is 35.5 lbs. I can live with that. I still have a LONG way to go to my goal.

Now I like my stats and data. I like to weigh myself daily so if I eat pizza and beer and get all bloated I immediately see the scale rise as punishment for that indiscretion. I also like to see the satisfying drop from a day of doing everything right. Now sometimes it doesn’t work like that and there are fluctuations, but in general bad behavior shows up pretty quickly and I can correct it before things get too out of control. Along with my data I like to set small, obtainable goals. When you have over 100 lbs to loose (or anything more than the covid 20) this is very important…or at least it is to me. The little slow downward slope of the weight line just is not enough. DietBet was cool, while I still loose I often fall short of my goal and frankly I’d rather spend the cash in something else. So I started my search. I found an app that is kinda my new best friend. It has all the data I want to see as well as breaking my weight loss up into smaller goals and options on how I want it broken up. I opted for even numbers at 5 lb increments. (I went back and forth between 5-10 lbs and finally settled on 5 so every month I make at least 1 goal with most months hitting a new goal twice. This has helped me out of my February slump into my record March loss.

It is still a work in progress. I still struggle with the sleep/exercise balance. I still get busy and forget to log my foods at times. While I have lost over 30 lbs I have so much to loose that you really can’t tell. In my mind I know diet and exercise with a slow 1-2 lb loss a week is the way to go to truest keep it off but in this modern time of instant gratification I just want to pop on a bikini and look fantastic already.

I have 6 weeks until I go to Cabo San Lucas and 6 months until my brother’s wedding. I’m hoping to stay strong through the spring and summer and stay closer to the 2 lbs a week loss. I’m trying to focus on healthy activities. I’m trying to reward myself with things like new clothing (we are just not going to talk about the awesome swimsuit I got online for my trip that I can’t get up past my knees). I’m adjusting things as I go along. I’m finding out what works for me and what does not. It isn’t easy, but then again things worth doing rarely are.

Photography in the pandemic (long)

As many of you know I am a photographer. As a photographer I capture moments in time. Once I click the shutter that moment is gone. We will never get that moment back. I mention this because I recently got in an argument with another photographer on a photography forum online. The issue: she was hired to shoot a wedding last year and paid in full. The wedding is in a month and the pandemic isn’t over yet. She is on the fence about canceling or shooting it and wanted advice. I gave my advice.

The wedding was booked and paid for a year ago and is in a month. She knew it was coming up so if she was going to cancel the time to do it was 5+ months ago when the pandemic didn’t end and the lockdowns continued. At this point the couple is thankful that they still have a photographer because venues and catering are probably a nightmare for them. If the wedding gets canceled that is one thing, but they were hired to do a job and accepted payment in full for the job. They should do the job. It isn’t like things were in the beginning. We have social distancing, masking and if you get sick we now have treatments. On top of that more and more people are getting vaccinated every day. This isn’t the same situation we had in the beginning when we didn’t have any of that.

Well, apparently some people got mad about that and feel everyone should stay home and everything should be canceled until the virus is gone from our planet. Ok, look moron. It’s a virus. It will never be completely gone from the planet. Also, everything in life has risks. It’s our job to learn those risks as we grow up and learn to do things as safe as possible knowing the risks and should we end up sick or injured we know where to go for help if we need it. Staying locked in your home in fear is not living…it’s existing. There is a reason why we have prisons for criminals and put little kids in time out. Taking away freedom to live your life as you wish is punishment.

Back to photography… I’m not a fan of shooting portraits. It’s boring. I like landscapes, nature and travel. But I am good at it even if I don’t like it. In this pandemic I have found myself shooting more portraits than I ever have before. Why is this when there are so many portrait photographers out there? Well, it’s because they are terrified and believe everyone should stay in isolation. I don’t feel that way. I feel that life is still happening and once those moments are gone we will never get them back. Photographers are here to capture those moments.

I have a friend who has had 7 miscarriages and finally carried her pregnancy to term with #8 in this pandemic. She wanted to do a maternity photo shoot to capture the joy of this time especially since she does not know if they will ever be able to have another one. The problem… she can’t find a photographer in the lockdown so she contacted me. I agreed to do her photos for her. I don’t know how people can turn down someone who has been through so much sadness and wants to capture the joy of this moment. It isn’t like she can go back and do them later. We did them in a low risk way outdoors I stayed socially distanced from them except when I gave her a gift for the baby. I later took family photos after the birth for their daughters 1st Christmas.

My brother is getting married in September. I did his engagement photos and I’m terrified that their wedding photographer will cancel at the last minute and I’ll end up shooting his wedding rather than enjoying the celebration with my family. Why would I do that? Well, because I’m not going to bail on my brother when he needs me.

I’m just so tired of people using covid as an excuse. So you have sat on your butt for a year and don’t want to go back to work? Is it because you are terrified of covid? Nope. You are still living your life visiting with friends and family and going to the store and whatever else is open at the moment. Just be honest. Don’t say it isn’t safe for you to go back to work. Just say you don’t want to go back to work. It’s ok. You can NOT want to go. I don’t want to go every day but I have a family to support so I put on my shoes and go. Would I like to stay home and enjoy the 50 hours a week of free time with my family? Hell yes! I get it. I don’t want to go to work either. But I’m sure as hell not going to use covid as an excuse and say I can’t go to work because it isn’t safe while I go on about living my life outside my home. Just be honest about it. Just say you got lazy and don’t want to go back to work. Saying it isn’t safe for YOU to go to work while you expect everyone else to go to work is just saying that you are more important than everyone else out there. You are more important than all the essential workers who have kept everything running back when it really was not safe. If you accept a job and got paid for the job then you should do that job. If you want to back out you should refund your fee AND pay the difference for the last minute replacement for the job you were suppose to do if they incur additional costs due to you backing out at the last minute.

The businesses and people that are going to survive this pandemic are going to be the ones who didn’t use it as an excuse to be lazy. They are going to be the ones that paid off debt, saved up to purchase their first home, wrote that book, used the time to get fit, eat healthier, forge a better relationship with their spouse and children. There are 1000 ways to come out of the pandemic better than you went into it.

There are several truths about the past year no matter what your beliefs are on the way the pandemic is being handled where you are from.

Life is moving on.

Relationships are starting and ending.

People are getting married and divorced.

Children are being born and growing up.

People still die.

How do you feel about gatherings? Should we never celebrate again? If you are married how would you feel to have that option taken away from you? How about your children? Do you reflect back on that crying photo with Santa and smile? What if that was taken away from you? Remember the first day of kindergarten? What if that was taken away? High school or college graduation (yours or or child’s)? How about funerals? Should those go away and we no longer get to mourn? Should we visit the sick and dying or let them die alone? How about birthdays? Do we celebrate only the 1st birthday, 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st, 50th, 75th, 100th? Only some? None at all? How about if you beat cancer and didn’t think you would see another birthday but here it is! Do you celebrate?

Do we celebrate life or let let it just go because someone might get sick? What about food poisoning? Someone might get sick. Maybe we should not eat anymore.